Tag Archives: wealth

What You Focus On Grows

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In life when we want something different than what we have we must undergo a shift in our thinking and behavior to get there. It’s the chicken and the egg.

What comes first? Most of us have to start from the bottom. To get from the bottom to the top, we have to drench ourselves in stories about the top. We have to see ourselves at the top. We have to visualize what it feels like to be at the top.

The reason for this is the law of attraction. In other words, what we focus on grows.

If a person is broke, it is most likely they are telling themselves a constant narrative about being broke. They feel broke. They think about being broke. Feelings become thoughts which become things. This person will tell everyone what they can’t afford. They will attract other people and events in their lives that have an aura of “scarcity.”

If all a person talks about is being stressed, sick, broke, tired, and taken advantage of–that’s exactly what will happen. A person will attract things that make them stressed, sick, broke, tired and taken advantage of.

Did you know we are essentially a blend of the five people we spend the most time with? Think about that for a minute.

If we are feeling fat it’s most likely that we will continue to exhibit behaviors that reinforce that feeling. We will eat unhealthy food, won’t push ourselves when exercising, and we will continue to tell a story of fat.

Basically to achieve what we really want–underneath layers of ego and denial–we have to tell ourselves we’re already there.

If we are not wealthy, we must tell ourselves we’re wealthy to create an aura of plenty. If we are not at our goal weight, we must do things that make us feel sleek and beautiful even if we don’t necessarily feel that way all the time.

We must act “as if.”

After months of telling a new story the texture of life will begin to change.

A journey of change is never a straight shot. We make progress and fumble taking a few steps back. Then we get back up and continue in the direction of the dream.

If you want to change your life, you need to change that story. Start by being 5% more aware of what you say out loud. Look at the events and people in your life, and your reaction to those events and people. What is your state? Our friend Tony Robbins says if you want to change your life you must change your state.

He’s right.

 

Do You Say Yes! To YourSELF?

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Sunday I attended an event put on by Lee Richter a local Oakland business owner with 5 companies including a successful pet hospital Montclair Vet. She invited money expert Loral Langemeier to speak. Loral has a 100 million dollar company.

Loral looked right at me when talking about wealth because I admitted I swore by Suze Orman (who talks about debt as if it’s a sin). And I don’t take on debt ever. Loral said that Suze Orman’s attitude about wealth and debt were not helpful for entrepreneurs. She said that really successful female entrepreneurs are great risk takers.

Loral also talked about women and our feeling that we need to “take people with us.” That means we can’t move forward unless everyone around us gives us the go ahead to do so. But if you are a female entrepreneur you know that often you are doing things despite the frowns from family, friends and strangers.

At the end of the day it’s about your attitude toward yourself and your dreams. Do you say YES to yourself? Do you have that unshakable belief in yourself? Do you give yourself a permission slip to go after your dreams?

Here are ten declarations I received from this weekend’s talk I’d like to share with you. They are meaningful for me because I believe women (like me) need to change their attitude toward money (and making it).

Ten Declarations To Cleanse Your Attitude About Attracting “Plenty”

  1. I deserve to be wealthy, healthy and happy.
  2. Wealth comes to me easily.
  3. My money bucket is expanding daily.
  4. A part of all I earn is mine to keep.
  5. My income increases every day–whether I’m working, sleeping or playing.
  6. Ever dollar I spend comes back to me multiplied.
  7. All my investments are profitable.
  8. Money now comes to me in unexpected ways–for the good of all concerned.
  9. I’m always in the right place at the right time.
  10. I love my life!

As your attitude toward what is in the cards for you changes, notice your life change.  I am not someone who puts a great emphasis on money. I value my relationships, my beliefs and my dog above money–and I always have. However I do feel that all women can benefit from feeling worthy, deserving and asking for what they want.

I believe in you!

Summer of Gratitude

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Most mornings I wake up, take Athena the dog out, and attempt to move my wild mind from a place of sleepy yawns and achy muscles to a place of gratitude, sunshine and spiritual wealth. It takes a few minutes but I eventually get there. I notice the better I take care of myself through the prior day–the less chemicals, wine, and processed food I have, the easier it is to wake up in a good space. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s true for me. I has taken me years to understand that.

Here are some ideas around gratitude that have been top of mind for me lately.

Summer of Gratitude:

Don’t hope more than you work. Many people complain about the life they want without stepping in a proactive direction. But one has to ask, is that what they really want? If this was what a person truly wanted, they wouldn’t have time to talk about hopes and dreams, because they’d be busy doing it. If this is you, and you dream of one day having a certain life, job, boyfriend (or girlfriend), look, knowledge, language….there are ten million ways to go about achieving that. Get to work on finding a way. Don’t waste one more moment sitting around complaining. If you think you deserve certain opportunities, you will go for them and you will do your absolute best. If you think of yourself as someone who delivers great work, you will deliver great work. If you think you aren’t good enough you will submit unfinished projects. Capeesh [insert Italian tough love accent here]?

Body-Talk. We forget why our bodies are here. These vertical vessels allow our spirits to move around this earth experiencing the world. I’m not sure where along the spectrum we lost sight of what functions are bodies serve, but we’ve really forgotten the physicality of our bodies. We are too concerned with fitting into a fabricated beauty ideal that frankly doesn’t fit most of the human population. For those of you like me who have gone through struggles, bad days and shame around body talk it’s not always easy to step into a light airy dress of gratitude. We wake up, step on the scale and give ourselves applause or a mental lashing depending on what we see. As Geneen Roth says, shaming yourself will not help you lose weight. Wake up and say your gratitudes for the vessel that allows you to experience this life. Give special love and attention to the very things you see as your flaws. Have you ever seen someone who doesn’t look stereotypically model-ish but is having a damn good time anyway? They glow! It’s not about a number on the scale people!

Count Your Beans. I recently watched a video with Marie Forleo and Kris Carr. Kris Carr talks about how she started her own business and mentions that she spent a good amount of time “counting her beans” before she started her business (Crazy, Sexy, Life). That means SAVING buckets of money. On a related note, yesterday I had coffee with a new friend who is a finance consultant. We were talking about women and money. She felt that a lot of women just don’t want to look. She said the energy around money is unfavorable for many women. She believes many women have a feeling of scarcity around money. For anyone that wants to get their finances in order–they need to respect and appreciate what they have. They need to use tools to look at the numbers and understand what they mean. We all need to know where our money goes if we want to create more of it.

Ok friends, it’s the weekend. Take time AWAY from the computer. Reflect on your week on a hike, outside or away from anything you have to turn on or turn off. Go be with yourself and enjoy.


photo via Henkaa

The “Not Enough” Theory Originates In Moscow

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Recently I wrote a post on the “not enough theory.” I consider myself somewhat of an unofficial sociologist, as I have always been interested in people and culture.

When I was in Moscow I wrote a blog about the “not enough theory.” Everything in life is inter-related. Metaphors always come full circle.

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“Blake, Blake! Look at everyone’s boots. They are magnificent–look how clean they are!” My older brother enthusiastically whispers this to me as we make our way on the metro to downtown Moscow. My older brother, an American currently working and living in Russia, is absolutely right.

People take incredible care of their shoes here.

He recently traveled to Serbia to visit our family friends. The grandmother in this family is in her eighties and she has lived through some incredible periods in Serbian history. She told my brother a story of when resources were scarce–when Serbs would go to pick up boots and wait in line for hours. Each person would get a pair of boots, not in their size, and trade afterward. As a twenty-something y/o living in New York I cannot imagine what this was like.

Recession and all New York, still seems to be the land of plenty, or at least that is the attitude we generally have. It’s not abnormal to see women on the subway with holes in the toe of their well-loved boots. Their high heels are broken.

Business men stumble to work in wrinkled expensive suits. City grime covers the leather of their expensive shoes. When we can’t take it anymore we throw our shoes out and buy new ones.


Lenin’s Tomb in Red Square, Moscow 2009 –>a Russian Marxist revolutionary, author, lawyer, economic theorist, political philosopher, creator of the Soviet Communist Party, leader of the 1917 October Revolution, and founder of the USSR. As head of the Bolsheviks (1917–1924) he led the Red Army to victory in the Russian Civil War, before establishing the world’s first officially socialist state.

The “Not Enough to Go Around” Mentality

My brother explains to me that when he gets on the subway in Moscow, instead of making a line, travelers enter the car in a “triangle.” There are a few people who make it to the front and the rest of the passengers pile along the sides. The exiters of the train have to push their way through.

In New York there is some pushing and road blocks for those exiting and those entering, but generally a passageway is provided for at least one minute. London is even more relaxed. In London this does not happen at all. Everyone knows they will get on the train, no matter what. Travelers are relaxed about the loading and unloading process.

Both shoe up-keep and subway habits are representative of bigger behavioral patterns. I wonder if one day Americans will polish their shoes like there weren’t enough shoes to go around. I wonder if one day Russians will act like the British with ease that they will always get a spot on the train.


The Hermitage Museum AKA The Winter Palace, St. Petersburg, Russia