When people meet you what signals do you send them?
This very issue is covered in a wonderful book I recently read called The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism. I also read a second book that blew my mind. It was called The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level. If you are someone seeking something–whether that be career opportunities, love or customers to your business these two books are absolutely amazing.
Have you recently met someone who seems down and out? Like nothing could lift their face into a smile or light their eyes up? Lately I’ve been more cognizant of energy–every time you meet someone it’s an opportunity to exchange energy. Your energy can actually change the molecules in a room–and you can lift up others’ energy as well.
Energy and happiness levels impact opportunities generated. However, opportunities will impact energy and happiness levels. It’s the chicken or the egg. A good head and heartspace generates opportunities, and opportunities lead to a happier head and heartspace.
So what does that mean? It means you need to get yourself into a positive place even when you don’t feel like you have plentiful opportunities at every turn. The truth appears to be that perseverance and pivoting are two incredibly important things in this world.
When you work for opportunity–no matter what that means for you personally–it takes time. If you are a small business owner lead-times can range from three months to one year or more. Small business owners need to check themselves on being positive, grateful and optimistic.
Earlier this year I gave myself my own gratitude boot camp–and it’s something I’m still working on.
The first book The Charisma Myth shows you how charisma can actually be learned. We live in a time where extrovert qualities are actually really important, so if you grew up with your nose in a book like many of us did–there is still hope for you no matter what your field is.
What’s always surprising to me is how some of the most charismatic glowing people in the world would describe themselves as incredibly shy.
The secret about charisma is it’s something learned.
“Our body language expresses our mental state whether we like it or not. Our facial expressions, voice posture and all the other components of body language reflect our mental and emotional condition every second. Whatever is in our head will show up in our body language.”
Cabane adds that “What your mind believes your body manifests.”
Cabane teaches the reader how to prepare for a big opportunity–contrary to popular belief most of being charismatic has to do with internal tools–less about the car you drive or the label on your purse.
What surprised me about Cabane’s research is how every single detail in our body language is hugely important–most of our communication is not verbal whatsoever. From eye contact to the way you shake hands, to how much you pause while you speak–these are a few of hundreds of tools she gives you. For book worms like myself–who didn’t grow up cheer leading–it can be very helpful to learn better magnetism tools and tricks 
The second book I highly recommend is The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level.
Have you ever known anyone who self-sabotoges? They get a big raise at work and then have a terrible accident or cheat on their partner….People who are very successful who tend to need some kind of drug to convince themselves they are worthy of the blessings received?
Basically this idea is on some level people feel like they don’t deserve their achievements–success, joy, love. They have an upper limit problem and it gets in the way of getting to their “Zone of Genius.”
Here’s how Gay Hendricks (yes that is his name) introduces the challenge. “The glass ceiling they were operating under is held in place by a single problem–a barrier they didn’t know they had. Once they saw the one problem–and how to solve–they were free to go beyond ordinary success to a new and extraordinary level of abundance, love and creativity.”
The book teaches you how to get past your blockages–and we all have them. In fact the more successful you are, the more you need to keep working on yourself.
You deserve love, you deserve meaning and you deserve the opportunity to make a better life for yourself. The bright flashing lights that are there telling you what is best for you can be misguiding. When you’re clear–in your head and your heart–you know exactly what needs to be done, and how.
If you are still with me, here is a “mantra” you can use for yourself.
“I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.”
It’s a service oriented approach to life without losing yourself in the process. Let’s uncomplicate life to bring more meaning, joy, love and clarity into our lives.
