Tag Archives: patience

I Know This Much Is True

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I’m 28 years old. That means that I’m smarter about myself than when I was 25, and definitely 21, and even more definitely than when I was 16. I still need to work on my grammar, especially via text.

I will never be one of those woman who walks around in perfect outfits, and perfect hair and a spotless house. Every day I give myself permission to live the life I choose. And that life is one of comfort over being liked. I rarely wear shoes I can’t chase someone in (or flee from someone for that matter). I aspire to be like Tina Fey one day who talks about turning 40 in this way:

What Turning Forty Means to Me from Fey’s book Bossypants.
“I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.”

In the spirit of my heroes (Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham) I will share my irreverent internal “conversation” with you about what’s happening in my life.

Friendships take a front seat. I don’t have a lot of friends but I value honesty and authenticity in people, women who don’t take themselves seriously and don’t have big egos. As I’ve realized that friendships have taken a major backseat in my life I’m making that a priority. It feels great to connect with women friends again. Too much time on the computer and on social networks have made me realize that I don’t have enough real healthy friendships. Sorry facebook friends, but mostly you just disappoint me. It’s not your fault. It’s the lie that we all tell ourselves about social media. This is not a replacement for real life. Mind you this is what I do for a living, so please don’t be offended.

Fake it til you make it. At the end of August I decided I was letting myself go. So I decided to start eating less sugar and exercising. However it wasn’t all Jillian Michaels over here. There were days where I would step into the time warp that is the YMCA and I wanted to run home and eat marshmallows on the couch and watch The Voice. Then I accidentally took a latin dance class with my boyfriend’s mom and I realized that exercising could be fun again. Dancing felt way more fun than swaying back and forth on a machine that looks like it should generate solar power, but does not (elliptical machine). Then I realized that aerobics was kind of dancey and didn’t “look” that hard. Well people, it is hard. I tried one class with the raw food eating instructor at my gym and… I had to leave.

I looked like a sloppy leotard with two left feet. I was shocked by how well all these people knew these very complicated dance moves. They all looked like back up dancers, and I looked like a girl who only knew how to back up.

Eventually I went back for the beginner class, and took the intermediate classes. I learned to relax about being a perfect back up dancer at the YMCA aerobics classes. If I didn’t get a move just right I told myself “fake it til you make it.” The point of aerobics is to work up a sweat–so as long as you keep moving you don’t need to have the footwork of Jane Fonda. Just show up to class, and you’ll eventually get the hang of it.

image source

Trust the process. Things that are “worth it” take time. As an entrepreneur there are a few things I’ve realized about opportunities. I’ve learned that when you put a lot of energy into something (like marketing), you must be patient for the universe to manifest the right opportunities for you. Sometimes the universe takes its “sweet ass time.” And the universe is possibly testing you, to see if you are cut out for this exciting, exhilarating and terrifying thing we call entrepreneurship. You put it out there and you have to figure out what to do with yourself while you’re manifesting what you want. You have to have faith in yourself, and in the fact that the right doors open at the right time. My inclination is to never sit still. If you’re like me you have to teach yourself how to relax and then let the universe do its thing. If you can’t relax do a couple of aerobics classes. You’ll forget about your career pain with the distraction of your two left feet pain.

 


3 Ways To Put Worry to Bed

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With all the pressures of life, at times it can feel overwhelming just to get through a particular task. Some weeks feel harder than others.

The mind at times feels like it’s detached from the body. The mind has its own internal dialogue–for better or worse. Many of us just wish–at times–we could shut off our worrying mind and just live and be truly free.

And it is my personal belief that the key to a happy everything is controlling the mind–but today with new studies in science it’s not that easy. There are studies that show there are other factors from your body that control your thoughts. That means we aren’t even 100% sure of what controls our thoughts and moods. I also believe the over-saturation of media messages we are exposed to is throwing off our state of being.

That being said, the more control we have over our self-management, the better our thoughts, and the better our behaviors.

Three Tips to Put Worry To Bed:

1. Focus. They key to a happy life could be very simple. It goes like this. When I’m working I’m working. When I’m cooking I’m cooking. When I’m exercising I’m exercising. When I’m reading I’m reading. When I’m watching a movie I’m watching a movie. I try and not multitask or switchtask as much as possible. I believe many of us have so much trouble focusing because we constantly have a 2nd channel running. I do believe that multitasking means doing two things badly. At the same time it feels like multitasking can’t be avoided…but the key is to try. Think of your energy–if your energy is focused on one task, that task is going to get 100% attention. If every project we do gets 50% of our energy, our outcomes will also be watered down. One way to help focus that energy is meditation. Meditation is a powerful tool to gain better control over your mind. Most mornings if you can sit for even just 5 minutes and greet the day with gratitude and intention, you will notice you can focus better throughout your day. Your thoughts cause a biological and physiological effect--your body responds to mental input as if it were physically real. That means it’s up to you to create an inviting environment for yourself that allows you to focus.

2. Take a time-out. Every tough scenario can be prevented by a time-out. That means removing yourself from the situation and taking space. I’m positive there’s nothing a short walk can’t solve. Some of the most successful and creative people have high octane personalities. If you are lucky enough to be one of these wildly creative people, save that energy for the tasks that require intense creativity, energy and spirit–think Gabby on the high beam. By taking the space and moment for yourself when you can feel a rush of something coming on, you will find yourself better equipped to walk the high beam. On a related note I know many of you aren’t taking your breaks at work out of fear. When we work in corporate environments we assume we can’t have work-life flexibility because we see everyone else working without vacation. Even if you work in an environment where no one takes sick days, vacations or paid time off, take yours. You will feel rejuvenated when you come back to work. We all need mental breaks–time for the creative juices to marinate. Consider this; the conscious mind controls only 5% of our brain, while the unconscious mind has a hold on our thoughts 95% of the time. So pay attention to what you can’t see–or what’s not obvious to you about yourself. Allow yourself a little space to daydream now and again.

3. This too shall pass. There are days I feel like if things don’t change right this very minute the world will end. The key to success is the ability to wait out the not knowing. Contrary to popular media, success rarely happens overnight. Sit with the not knowing. Get curious about what’s underneath that not knowing. Is it fear? What does the fear look like? How does it feel? Is it in your throat? Is it in your stomach? Once you identify what is underneath your fear you will be able to address it and calm it. This storm shall pass. The rainbow surely comes after the storm, and those storms make you strong.

So dear readers, what tools do you use to put worry to bed?