Tag Archives: finance

What You Focus On Grows

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In life when we want something different than what we have we must undergo a shift in our thinking and behavior to get there. It’s the chicken and the egg.

What comes first? Most of us have to start from the bottom. To get from the bottom to the top, we have to drench ourselves in stories about the top. We have to see ourselves at the top. We have to visualize what it feels like to be at the top.

The reason for this is the law of attraction. In other words, what we focus on grows.

If a person is broke, it is most likely they are telling themselves a constant narrative about being broke. They feel broke. They think about being broke. Feelings become thoughts which become things. This person will tell everyone what they can’t afford. They will attract other people and events in their lives that have an aura of “scarcity.”

If all a person talks about is being stressed, sick, broke, tired, and taken advantage of–that’s exactly what will happen. A person will attract things that make them stressed, sick, broke, tired and taken advantage of.

Did you know we are essentially a blend of the five people we spend the most time with? Think about that for a minute.

If we are feeling fat it’s most likely that we will continue to exhibit behaviors that reinforce that feeling. We will eat unhealthy food, won’t push ourselves when exercising, and we will continue to tell a story of fat.

Basically to achieve what we really want–underneath layers of ego and denial–we have to tell ourselves we’re already there.

If we are not wealthy, we must tell ourselves we’re wealthy to create an aura of plenty. If we are not at our goal weight, we must do things that make us feel sleek and beautiful even if we don’t necessarily feel that way all the time.

We must act “as if.”

After months of telling a new story the texture of life will begin to change.

A journey of change is never a straight shot. We make progress and fumble taking a few steps back. Then we get back up and continue in the direction of the dream.

If you want to change your life, you need to change that story. Start by being 5% more aware of what you say out loud. Look at the events and people in your life, and your reaction to those events and people. What is your state? Our friend Tony Robbins says if you want to change your life you must change your state.

He’s right.

 

Do You Say Yes! To YourSELF?

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Sunday I attended an event put on by Lee Richter a local Oakland business owner with 5 companies including a successful pet hospital Montclair Vet. She invited money expert Loral Langemeier to speak. Loral has a 100 million dollar company.

Loral looked right at me when talking about wealth because I admitted I swore by Suze Orman (who talks about debt as if it’s a sin). And I don’t take on debt ever. Loral said that Suze Orman’s attitude about wealth and debt were not helpful for entrepreneurs. She said that really successful female entrepreneurs are great risk takers.

Loral also talked about women and our feeling that we need to “take people with us.” That means we can’t move forward unless everyone around us gives us the go ahead to do so. But if you are a female entrepreneur you know that often you are doing things despite the frowns from family, friends and strangers.

At the end of the day it’s about your attitude toward yourself and your dreams. Do you say YES to yourself? Do you have that unshakable belief in yourself? Do you give yourself a permission slip to go after your dreams?

Here are ten declarations I received from this weekend’s talk I’d like to share with you. They are meaningful for me because I believe women (like me) need to change their attitude toward money (and making it).

Ten Declarations To Cleanse Your Attitude About Attracting “Plenty”

  1. I deserve to be wealthy, healthy and happy.
  2. Wealth comes to me easily.
  3. My money bucket is expanding daily.
  4. A part of all I earn is mine to keep.
  5. My income increases every day–whether I’m working, sleeping or playing.
  6. Ever dollar I spend comes back to me multiplied.
  7. All my investments are profitable.
  8. Money now comes to me in unexpected ways–for the good of all concerned.
  9. I’m always in the right place at the right time.
  10. I love my life!

As your attitude toward what is in the cards for you changes, notice your life change.  I am not someone who puts a great emphasis on money. I value my relationships, my beliefs and my dog above money–and I always have. However I do feel that all women can benefit from feeling worthy, deserving and asking for what they want.

I believe in you!

Don’t Throw In The Towel, Wrap Your Hair In It

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We all have moments where we feel like throwing in the towel. And during these moments–when we’re feeling vulnerable–it’s easy to conjure up images of what women should do when they’re feeling down-and-out. Three things for me come to mind: chocolate, alcohol and shopping.

The truth about all these short term answers….

Drinking is a depressant–it makes you feel up and then shoots you straight down. What goes up must come down. And shopping when you’re upset can lead to impulse buys and unfortunately for many women in America–credit card debt. All of these things provide short highs and eventually long lows. They simply don’t do what we’re told they should do–make us feel lovely and amazing.

So much of what we’re taught is the answer by the media and advertising is in fact the opposite of the answer. These ephemeral activities don’t leave us emotionally nourished, refreshed or invigorated.

A private moment with a quarter pounder with cheese, a dove chocolate or a tall glass of midori sour doesn’t give us internal nourishment. Real long-term success comes from taking care of our spirits. That includes nourishing our bodies with nutritional food and drink. Additionally financial stability is empowering. Rather than shop save money and invest wisely in your future. So I’m here to set the story straight on how to get yourself out of a rut. I beg you don’t throw in the towel, just take better care of yourSELF.

Kim K. having a great time at a party–probably after a long stressful week at work.
Am I the only San Francisco driver to see this billboard?

I’m not here to berate you about what you eat and drink. I’m here to teach you some simple tools during your dark moment that help you to feel enough. Remember, you’re enough!

Here are six tips you can use for when you’re having a “moment.”

1. Having a tough moment at work? Step outside and take ten deep breaths. Work isn’t the best venue for self-expression. It’s not a good idea to let your boss and your coworkers see you having a bad day (but we’re all human and we all have them). At the same time keeping your feelings at bay for too long will distract you from your work. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling in a safe space. Go outside for a walk, even sneak away to the women’s restroom for a three minute mediation. I don’t care where you can find three minutes of solitude–go find it. Your day depends on it. If you can sneak in a work-out, even better. I work out every day to put myself in a place of gratitude. We were meant to breathe deeply, move and emote. Exercise gets your breathing.

2. Don’t dive into your career stress, take a bath. The funny thing about advertising is we are often taught that when things get stressful, we should reach for a drink. We are taught that a private moment with a chocolate bar is that one panacea that will make us feel strong, competent and happy. The truth is food and alcohol are not the first things women should grab when life gets stressful. A bath can be a wonderful activity that can be nourishing, relaxing and rejuvinating. If you’re feeling like diving into your cabinet to down a box of Madeline cookies, a warm bath (with salts too) will nourish you (and there’s no guilt). Hot baths not only soothe your mind but your muscles too. Hot baths soothe the lungs, heart, stomach and endocrine system by stimulating nerve reflexes on the spinal chord.

3. Allow yourself to feel and process. Women need time to reflect on their lives, their careers and their relationships. There is nothing wrong with letting out a good cry if you need it. Crying helps us release. Crying balances our chemicals. Journaling can also be a great way to stay on top of your moods. By writing down how you feel, you take a load off–even if it’s a note on your iphone or your ipad. Jotting your emotions down can feel amazing.

4. Get a coach or therapist. All too often women don’t have boundaries in their lives. Families and friends cannot always help us in the way that we need. For many millennial women, our moms end up taking on the role of BFF–but at a certain point as women we need to find our own safe space to talk. When women don’t have boundaries in their lives–especially with private information–problems start to happen. By having an objective person like a coach (or even a therapist) you are better able to keep boundaries with your family, your friends and your coworkers. A coach can help you unpack your dreams and goals, and provide a step by step process on how to get there. Encouragement and support is provided along the way. Coaching is not therapy, and therapy is not coaching–however in both venues a woman is provided a private and safe space to vent. All women need a safe space to vent without concern for boundaries. Keep in mind referrals often provide the best coaches and therapists.

5. Write down what you feel proud about. Anything can look like a failure in the middle. Many successful and high achieving women are very hard on themselves. By giving yourself a pat on the back and putting on paper what you’ve accomplished you will have a different perception of where you are. Women have around 60,000 thoughts a day. Can you imagine if even 1/10 of these thoughts were “you’re lovely and amazing and you can do anything”? That’s not the case for too many women. For many women turning the majority of thoughts from a place of fear to a place of yes can be difficult.When you feel good about where you are, your next move will be a positive one. We need more persistent, calm, confident women out there so we start to see the numbers change at the top. Look at all that you’ve accomplished. Write it down. Then keep going!

6. Catch a lack of email etiquette? Back away from the computer.  Ahhh technology. You have made it so easy for us to send quick messages to one another anywhere in the world. But perhaps this is a blessing and a curse. Most people haven’t studied email etiquette, and most people just aren’t very aware of how they come across in an email. How can I emphasize this enough….Get a rude email? Someone offend you by being brief, demanding and demoralizing? Turn off your email. Get out of there. Take a few hours to go away from the computer. Learn to not respond (or postpone responding) to rude messages. Just because someone sends you an email doesn’t mean you need to respond right away. The email offender probably was never taught how to practice email etiquette. This is not about you, it’s about them. This is probably how they talk to themselves–rude, abrupt etc. Be the standard by practicing email etiquette.

Remember, don’t throw in the towel. Take a bath and wrap your hair in it!

Are you in the Bay Area? Join me for a memorable workshop August 11th to “Empower You.”

A Clean Woman Is A Wealthy Woman

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While I have my issues with the “Real Housewives” series, I admit I’ve read both of NYC housewife Bethenny Frankel’s books.

The second book is called A Place of Yes: 10 Rules For Getting Everything You Want Out of Life. While I don’t think this book is any woman’s complete bible for success, I do think there are some very valuable nuggets of wisdom in her book A Place of Yes.

She writes on the idea that “everything is your business.” I find this especially true for entrepreneurs. Frankel encourages readers to look at taking care of themselves as part of their job (that was my interpretation of it at least).

“Everything’s your business means that every job, person and experience is  worth your full attention. Whether you are at work or cooking dinner or cleaning your apartment or reading a book to your child, make what you do matter, and do it well.

You never know who you are talking to, who is standing behind you in line or next to you in the elevator, who might notice the quality of your work, your attention to detail, and your ‘I’m on it’ attitude. You never know when a connection might matter…If you assume it’s all important, from the way you clean your house to the way you run a meeting, then you have your radar up for opportunities, you’re putting your best foot forward for everyone to see, and you’ll actually enjoy your work, and your life, more.”

This quote is personally meaningful for me because I took the road less traveled in order to take better care of myself (among other reasons). When I had the normal 9 to 5 job I had no  time to do the things I felt were also my business.

Commuting to a job during the work week makes it hard to find time to exercise, spend time with loved ones and forget about making anything but a microwave meal for yourself.

When I worked in NY all the guys would go to the gym on their lunch break. I never managed to fit my work-out and getting ready all over again into 60 minutes. I always found this frustrating.

A Clean Woman Is A Wealthy Woman

Frankel’s writing reminds me of my favorite finance pundit Suze Orman who says, “A clean woman is a wealthy woman.”

Readers let me ask you this.

How do you feel when you’ve truly taken care of all those tasks on your to-do list in addition to taking care of yourself? When you’ve done your taxes, your house is clean, your clothes are color coordinated, you’ve made something healthy for dinner and you’ve squeezed in a run.

You just FEEL BETTER, right?

On Cleaning Out Your Finances

If you don’t know where your resources are, and you don’t take care of what you have, you are going to feel out of control. The best way to save money is to know what you have, and where your resources are best used.

What I believe Suze Orman and Bethenny Frankel are both saying is every person should have a top to bottom quality control process. You’re worth it! You are more important as a whole than just the career woman in you.

If you find you are someone who channels all of their energy into their career, and your social and personal life are in shambles, your life probably feels out of balance. We pretend that there is an invisible divide between the quality of our work and the quality of our life at home. I’m telling you there is no divide. Both are important.

So if it makes you feel like a better worker, go get your nails done. Take that lunch to go to the gym. Don’t feel guilty about it. No one is watching you, and if you work for a company who has you on a time sheet, with no time to take care of your health and your spirit, you might want to start shopping for a new job.

Remember everything is your business and a clean woman is a wealthy woman.