I Know This Much Is True

I’m 28 years old. That means that I’m smarter about myself than when I was 25, and definitely 21, and even more definitely than when I was 16. I still need to work on my grammar, especially via text.

I will never be one of those woman who walks around in perfect outfits, and perfect hair and a spotless house. Every day I give myself permission to live the life I choose. And that life is one of comfort over being liked. I rarely wear shoes I can’t chase someone in (or flee from someone for that matter). I aspire to be like Tina Fey one day who talks about turning 40 in this way:

What Turning Forty Means to Me from Fey’s book Bossypants.
“I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.”

In the spirit of my heroes (Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham) I will share my irreverent internal “conversation” with you about what’s happening in my life.

Friendships take a front seat. I don’t have a lot of friends but I value honesty and authenticity in people, women who don’t take themselves seriously and don’t have big egos. As I’ve realized that friendships have taken a major backseat in my life I’m making that a priority. It feels great to connect with women friends again. Too much time on the computer and on social networks have made me realize that I don’t have enough real healthy friendships. Sorry facebook friends, but mostly you just disappoint me. It’s not your fault. It’s the lie that we all tell ourselves about social media. This is not a replacement for real life. Mind you this is what I do for a living, so please don’t be offended.

Fake it til you make it. At the end of August I decided I was letting myself go. So I decided to start eating less sugar and exercising. However it wasn’t all Jillian Michaels over here. There were days where I would step into the time warp that is the YMCA and I wanted to run home and eat marshmallows on the couch and watch The Voice. Then I accidentally took a latin dance class with my boyfriend’s mom and I realized that exercising could be fun again. Dancing felt way more fun than swaying back and forth on a machine that looks like it should generate solar power, but does not (elliptical machine). Then I realized that aerobics was kind of dancey and didn’t “look” that hard. Well people, it is hard. I tried one class with the raw food eating instructor at my gym and… I had to leave.

I looked like a sloppy leotard with two left feet. I was shocked by how well all these people knew these very complicated dance moves. They all looked like back up dancers, and I looked like a girl who only knew how to back up.

Eventually I went back for the beginner class, and took the intermediate classes. I learned to relax about being a perfect back up dancer at the YMCA aerobics classes. If I didn’t get a move just right I told myself “fake it til you make it.” The point of aerobics is to work up a sweat–so as long as you keep moving you don’t need to have the footwork of Jane Fonda. Just show up to class, and you’ll eventually get the hang of it.

image source

Trust the process. Things that are “worth it” take time. As an entrepreneur there are a few things I’ve realized about opportunities. I’ve learned that when you put a lot of energy into something (like marketing), you must be patient for the universe to manifest the right opportunities for you. Sometimes the universe takes its “sweet ass time.” And the universe is possibly testing you, to see if you are cut out for this exciting, exhilarating and terrifying thing we call entrepreneurship. You put it out there and you have to figure out what to do with yourself while you’re manifesting what you want. You have to have faith in yourself, and in the fact that the right doors open at the right time. My inclination is to never sit still. If you’re like me you have to teach yourself how to relax and then let the universe do its thing. If you can’t relax do a couple of aerobics classes. You’ll forget about your career pain with the distraction of your two left feet pain.

 


Do You Say Yes! To YourSELF?

Sunday I attended an event put on by Lee Richter a local Oakland business owner with 5 companies including a successful pet hospital Montclair Vet. She invited money expert Loral Langemeier to speak. Loral has a 100 million dollar company.

Loral looked right at me when talking about wealth because I admitted I swore by Suze Orman (who talks about debt as if it’s a sin). And I don’t take on debt ever. Loral said that Suze Orman’s attitude about wealth and debt were not helpful for entrepreneurs. She said that really successful female entrepreneurs are great risk takers.

Loral also talked about women and our feeling that we need to “take people with us.” That means we can’t move forward unless everyone around us gives us the go ahead to do so. But if you are a female entrepreneur you know that often you are doing things despite the frowns from family, friends and strangers.

At the end of the day it’s about your attitude toward yourself and your dreams. Do you say YES to yourself? Do you have that unshakable belief in yourself? Do you give yourself a permission slip to go after your dreams?

Here are ten declarations I received from this weekend’s talk I’d like to share with you. They are meaningful for me because I believe women (like me) need to change their attitude toward money (and making it).

Ten Declarations To Cleanse Your Attitude About Attracting “Plenty

  1. I deserve to be wealthy, healthy and happy.
  2. Wealth comes to me easily.
  3. My money bucket is expanding daily.
  4. A part of all I earn is mine to keep.
  5. My income increases every day–whether I’m working, sleeping or playing.
  6. Ever dollar I spend comes back to me multiplied.
  7. All my investments are profitable.
  8. Money now comes to me in unexpected ways–for the good of all concerned.
  9. I’m always in the right place at the right time.
  10. I love my life!

As your attitude toward what is in the cards for you changes, notice your life change.  I am not someone who puts a great emphasis on money. I value my relationships, my beliefs and my dog above money–and I always have. However I do feel that all women can benefit from feeling worthy, deserving and asking for what they want.

I believe in you!

Give Yourself a Permission Slip: A Message For Women

Successful people go do what they know in their heart of hearts is the right thing without a “permission slip.” This permission comes from an internal unshakable belief in themselves.

Women must realize that they will never be given the permission slip they are waiting for. Being liked will not bring success. The media tells women (and society at large) that well-behaved, manicured and quiet women who don’t take up space will be rewarded.

This is a big fat lie. The media continues to tell women that being liked, being pretty and being thin will bring unconditional love. The truth is unconditional love from others starts with unconditional love for oneself. Women need to start a revolution of self-love. When this happens our entire cultural landscape will shift. When women make a radical decision of self-love the media will no longer have the hold over women and girls that it does. The messages that women need to fit into a specific (unachievable) ideal will be obsolete. Advertisers will finally be frowned upon for perpetuating these myths about women in their messaging.

How Women Climb Ladders (Corporate and otherwise)

Often when you do something innovative or new, people resent you for it. You must continue moving forward despite criticism from skeptics–and I promise you there will be people who do not “like” it. Leaders (like Steve Jobs) innovate despite criticism from others.

How can more women start acting like Steve Jobs, and less like Kate Hudson’s character from “How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days”?

Leadership opportunities go to those who step up to lead. No one can make you a leader. You must see yourself as a leader first. I wonder what this world would look like if women stepped up. If women had unshakable belief in their abilities. If women spent their time going after what they wanted instead of obsessing over their looks and who liked them. Today is the day. I hereby grant you permission to go after what you want.

I want women to come home to themselves. I want women to give themselves permission slips to live the lives they want on their own terms. I want women to realize that the princess Disney trope doesn’t bring happiness, wealth or well-being. I want women to slip themselves the permission slip to live outloud.

Your Bliss Has Been There All The While, Waiting For You

Yesterday I attended a wonderful talk sponsored by the National Association of Women Business Owners NAWBO featuring Dr. Louann Brizendine author of the national best-selling book The Female Brain.

I was lucky enough to be siting at her dinner table. In our group Dr. Louann talked about how women make great entrepreneurs because we tend to be better networkers, finding the support we need outside of work to keep ourselves supported, nourished and connected. Men don’t tend to do this as much, and once they leave their corporate jobs, things are never quite the same.

When I was in my early twenties, I believe I would have been more successful had I been a better networker—involved with female support groups, mentoring and even coaching.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know–and I struggled as an early 20 something year old as a result.

Thoughts on Any Major Life Change

Often we have to go outside of what is expected of us by our families and social circles to find out who we really are. When we decide to shift in our careers, or even in another area of our life, it’s helpful to have people around us to empower us, to encourage us—to help us find the strength within ourselves to go after what we really want.

When I’m challenging myself in a new way or going outside of my comfort zone, my thoughts turn to high school when we studied the hero’s journey (think Joseph Campbell, the true philosopher behind Star Wars whose life philosophy was “follow your bliss”).

Joseph Campbell said, “If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are—if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.”

While women go through the hero’s journey, we need support, encouragement and more than anything we need to talk about what we’re going through. Consider this coupled with the pressures on us to always be “good girls.” Many of us have dreams that are never explored–what “could be” behind that forbidden door. Often it’s full of joy and success and excitement.

Consider this quote from Oprah: “Sometimes you find out what you are supposed to be doing by doing the things you are not supposed to do.”

Dr. Barbara Mark and I are creating this environment for you in our co-produced workshop “Get Your Groove Back” taking place in San Francisco June 30th, You will walk away from our workshop with some key tools to help you live your fullest life, and go after the dream you’ve pushed to the back-burner.

I’m very excited to see people signing up for our workshop specifically designed for 20-somethings who are looking for more meaning out of their careers, and are looking to build the self-awareness and confidence to take the next step. Consider joining us for a rewarding Saturday afternoon. We will be doing some fun activities, not like what you did in your religious schools as kids with cut-outs and straws.

We’ll be making you a more powerful, confident and self-assured you. I promise you that.

Join the Get Your Groove Back Workshop for Career Girls. Please share with your friends.

GYGB | June 30th, 2012 |  1pm-4pm | cost: $35 | 2325 Third Street | Suite 337 | San Francisco, CA 9410

Please visit me here to sign up.

Behind the Cloud: An Interview with Salesforce.com’s CEO Marc Benioff

Author’s Note: I interviewed Marc Benioff last January for Customer Management IQ. I have re-posted it for those of you who might have missed it.

Marc Benioff is arguably one of the most exciting CEOs of our generation. Benioff, CEO of salesforce.com, a trailblazer and game changer in the CRM cloud computing space, has released his newest book (co-authored with Carlye Adler) Behind the Cloud: The Untold Story of How Salesforce.com Went From Idea to Billion-Dollar Company—And Revolutionized an Industry. Benioff himself once sat in the call center technical support seat. Benioff believes the call center is salesforce.com’s next billion dollar industry. And with the chatter about the service cloud, it very well might be. Benioff discusses his new book for entrepreneurs, the future of salesforce.com and why philanthropy is good for business.

In your book Behind the Cloud you write about your young adulthood and the fact that you started your first software program when you were 15 years old. Your parents allowed you to travel to Europe alone to research a castle you were going to replicate in an adventure game you were creating for Atari 800. You talk about how your grandmother wrote the music for the games. How did the support from your family impact your entrepreneurial spirit?

The support I had from my family was pivotal. There were so many things that they did: My grandmother drove me to RadioShack so I could play around on the TRS 80 Model 1, my mother gave me the freedom to run a business in high school, but provided the parental guidance and support a kid needed. (She let me go to Scotland, but did call Scotland Yard when I forgot to call home.)

It was not only the support, but the model my family provided, which influenced me. My grandfather was an innovative attorney who had his own practice, and he created BART, San Francisco’s Bay Area Rapid Transit. My father had a chain of women’s clothing stores. My entrepreneurial spirit was nurtured just by watching them. It felt normal to be 15 and run a company out of my bedroom, or later, from my dorm room. It seemed like a natural thing to do.

You were a customer service rep in technical sales support at Apple. Many of our members oversee customer service support teams. Can you tell our audience what this experience was like for you?

At first, I didn’t like it. I much preferred my previous summer job at Apple where I was writing some of the first native assembly language for the Macintosh, and I enjoyed the perks like the fruit smoothies in the fridge and seeing Steve Jobs walk around and motivate the developers.

I was a shy computer geek and I was passionate about building technology, I didn’t want to talk with people on the phone. It turned out to be better than I expected, and in fact, I learned a critical lesson that about the power of each and every customer exchange. If the exchange was executed as well as possible—if we made the customer truly successful—we had the opportunity to transform him or her into an Apple loyalist and evangelist. This introduced me to the importance of customer success and has influenced everything I’ve done since.

Is there a place for On-Premise “enterprise” software such as Oracle, SAP or other applications or should all enterprise applications move to the cloud like Salesforce? If yes can you describe the reasons and applications for these On-Premise applications?

I believe that all enterprise applications should move to the cloud, but that doesn’t mean everyone else thinks it should! There are still companies very heavily invested in the on-premise-model and they want to ensure there’s still a place for it.

I’m glad we’re on the newer side of the equation, though. There’s not a very promising future for on-premise because customers are ready for a change. Big investments in client-server produced returns that were elusive. Furthermore, the economy that we have been dealing with for the past couple of years has caused customers to question a lot of conventional wisdom—especially when it comes to technology. Customers don’t want to part with big buckets of cash or tap into precious credit lines to finance big-ticket purchases of software, hardware and the data center infrastructure that goes with them.

Microsoft, Oracle and SAP are finding themselves confronted by companies like Google, Amazon.com and salesforce.com. And, perhaps to everyone’s surprise, these are not scrappy dot-com companies anymore. Google does everything (it’s even a verb). Amazon.com is the Internet’s biggest retailer and its Web services business uses more bandwidth than its retail business. Salesforce.com hit $1 billion in revenue and you can now get all your enterprise apps on demand.

At a time when many tech companies are wobbling, we drew nearly 20,000 registrants at our annual Dreamforce event in San Francisco last month. That’s about double last year’s numbers. It sends us a message that companies are hungry for better answers than they are getting from SAP, Oracle and Microsoft. Having seen what’s possible with a new way, companies have been exercising their power of choice.

Salesforce.com has established the viability of cloud-based computing. The scalability and security issues that IT was very concerned about early in the cloud-based evolution have been addressed and validated. Do you envision that all future software applications will be delivered as a service? Over what period of time do you see this occurring?

We are seeing a major shift to cloud computing, and the trend will accelerate. However, no new technology completely replaces another. We have many customers who still use some form of mainframe and will probably continue to do so for some time. But the best minds and the best new ideas move on. When was the last time that someone told you about a hot new shrink-wrapped business app? Maybe 10 years ago! The best innovation is happening in the cloud right now, and customers know it.

How fast? That’s the big question. Now, every major analyst firm sees cloud computing expanding its share of the overall IT market. The next five years, and the next 10 years will look very different. Right now we are only at the very beginning. I still have a lot of work to do.

You have said that it’s critical for new companies to develop a customer-centric culture early on. Do you ever feel like you have to sacrifice culture to meet quarter-over-quarter growth?

This is a difficult question. In general, no, we don’t have to sacrifice culture to achieve high growth. In fact, I think the culture we built—specifically our integrated philanthropy model and our V2MOM management system—allows us to achieve quarter over quarter growth.

That’s not to say there haven’t been changes. We’ve made enormous changes, financial changes, leadership changes, organizational changes, to prepare to be the company we are today. We’ve tapped people from larger companies whose experience we needed. Other talent, people who have been with us from the earliest days, have moved on. There’s a part of me that misses how I once interviewed every hire, knew everyone’s name, and drove golf balls down empty halls with the team. But the other part of me appreciates that those halls are no longer empty, that we’ve built something beyond my greatest expectations together, and we’ve stayed true to who we are as a company. Companies must change as they evolve. It’s the only way.

Green branding is trendy right now—this is something you have always done at Salesforce. How do you think giving back changes a company’s culture?

Our people are here for more meaningful reason than just to collect a paycheck. The idea of giving people paid time off to volunteer was something I learned from Alan Hassenfeld, the former chairman of Hasbro. He demonstrated how doing something purposeful made employees feel more invested in the company and inspired them to do their best. I thought that secondary gain further justified the hours our employees would be spending outside our office. I hoped the volunteer program would prevent them from feeling as rudderless as I had during my time at Oracle. I think it has.

Our employees have given more than 165,000 hours to the community and helped over 7,500 nonprofits improve how they manage their organizations. Along the way, we’ve become a better company. Our employees say they are more fulfilled, more productive and I can tell you they are more loyal. It’s because we share a common vision and that enables us to work well together. The people here spend days off together working in the community, they share pride in accomplishing something like bringing a new program to the Special Olympics or helping an eco-center get off the ground. Our foundation is a tool for collaboration. We share this model with our partners and vendors and customers. Before our annual Dreamforce event we participated together in a volunteer effort. Last year everyone came out and painted a school in the rain! You have to see one of these events and what happens. I’d love for more companies to join what we do or create their own program. It quickly becomes clear that by seeking profits and purpose together everybody wins.

Your new book is essentially an entrepreneur’s playbook. You talk about the challenges you incurred in your journey launching salesforce.com. In talking about some of the pushback you received from venture capitalists you remind us that MGM told Walt Disney Mickey Mouse would never be a hit because a giant mouse on the screen would terrify women. Can you talk about the significance of this reference for you?

The point is that you have to pursue what you believe is right, even if people tell you it won’t work. There will always be naysayers, but what would happen if we listened to them?  Imagine a world without Mickey Mouse. That’s no fun. And it’s not just Mickey whose appeal has been called into question. Pioneering companies like Cisco, E*TRADE, and Starbucks, have all been passed on by investors at some point.

VC’s weren’t interested in us when we were raising money. I felt that they were significantly undervaluing our company or they just didn’t understand what we were doing. A few told us that they believed in networked computing—not our disruptive ‘‘no software’’ model. Rejection from venture capitalists was not enough of a reason to consider getting out of our business or even changing our business, it just forced us to find a new way to raise funds. There’s always been another story from Walt Disney that’s guided me: ‘‘If you can dream it, you can do it.’’

Interview by Blake Landau.

Author’s Note: I interviewed Marc Benioff last January for Customer Management IQ. For those of you who might have missed it. This was first published on Customer Management IQ.