Tag Archives: body image

Being Curvy, Vulnerability & Success: 5 Truths This Week

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I haven’t been writing much because I’ve been working, but I think about you. I think  of how I can translate what is going on in my head and share what I’m feeling and thinking. Some days I think in possible blog post ideas.

No I don’t think this is healthy or normal.

Here’s my attempt at unpacking what has been in my head and heart this week.

1. How you experience the world is a reflection of what is going on in your head. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Loving people live in a loving world, hostile people live in a hostile world, same world.” I’ve realized awareness, breath and compassion are the answer to pretty much everything.

2. You cannot solve the world’s problems by obsessing over them. Whenever I drive the i5 I get sad. I get sad because I see stretches of cows and fields of animals–and I know somewhere along this stretch an animal is being hurt. I suppose this is the former vegetarian meat eater’s dilemma. Sometimes I get sad at the gym on the cardio equipment as I look up at screens to see bombs go off and overly done up anchors translating the human suffering in a specific tone and script. I find it disturbing to be on an elliptical machine at the gym while my eyes well up in tears seeing bombs going off. I see friend’s Facebook status’ that says their cousins might have to go off to war in the middle east. This breaks my heart. And then I have to continue on my day because I have responsibilities, clients and life to tend to. I don’t like war. Recently I heard a rabbi give a talk. He said women are life and birth. Men create wars. I don’t know if this is true, but I do wonder if the world was run by women if there would be so much war. I’m scared to bring little babies into a world where killing one another is normal and we see it on TV and in video games. On a related note, a baby boomer recently said to me that in 100 years when global warming will really will become a problem we will all be gone. Well I plan on having babies. Maybe a few of them. And I certainly don’t want to hand them over a shitty world with crappy air so they can’t enjoy soccer like I got to growing up.

This is what I tell myself to make myself feel better.

Just because the media and advertising attempts to plant fear and darkness into your mind doesn’t mean you need to water that seed. There is pain and suffering in the world, but thinking about all the pain and suffering in the world is not going to ease the pain and suffering in the world. It’s going to leave you feeling exhausted and joyless. Focus on what’s in front of you. Stay in the moment. Breathe. Make small miracles in your life and for those around you. You matter. And that matters!

3. There’s always another train coming. Life can feel like whatever is in front of us at the moment is the only thing we have to hold on to. The truth is the universe manifests opportunities for us when we aren’t looking–when we’re putting in our best effort in other parts of our life. Let go of whatever you have your nails dug in. It will still be there. If not another one’s comin soon!

4. See how it feels to let go. I’m currently reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love and Parent. In her book she talks about how when she’s feeling vulnerable, instead of leaning into the vulnerability and discomfort, her first impulse is to control. And many of us do that. We set out to control everything around us in order to maintain homeostasis. But as Suze Orman says (when referring to our inclination to accumulate things) see how it feels to LET GO. Let it go. You will feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

5. Why do curvy girls go to the back of the class? I take a lot of classes at the gym. I’m in LA this month and everything in LA–as it relates to looks–feels extreme–a caricature of itself. At the gym in LA all the thin women go straight to the front of the aerobics classes. The curvy women stay in the back of the class. Why is that? I might be curvy but I know that I like to be able to see what I’m doing in the class so I don’t do things with bad form–even if I’m shaking things that Cosmo Magazine tells me are problem areas. Screw you Cosmo–I love my problem areas! I might not look like a model, but I sure don’t sit in the back and hide. I ask myself what are other venues where curvy women move to the back of the class so as not to be seen?

Dear women’s self-esteem revolution, I give you permission to start happening now. Sincerely, curvy aerobics going ruminator, Blake.

Eating Dessert Makes You Thin

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Many of us walk very thin tight ropes when it comes to pleasure. We avoid falling into our cravings, afraid that if we give ourselves what we deeply desire, we will lose control. We won’t be able to stop.

If you are female you know the pressure is real to be thin. It’s everywhere, but most importantly it sits in our heads.

And it sat in mine for a long time.

But at a certain point I got off the treadmill. I allowed myself to devote only 25-30 minutes at most to work-outs. I told the obsessor to jump in a lake, and cut my workouts down. Additionally (and more dangerously) I also allowed myself to eat what I wanted.

And what I wanted was frozen yogurt.

Every night I had a tradition of making tea and preparing my favorite nighttime snack. This was frozen yogurt (mint chocolate chip or the new Fage 0% blueberry) mixed with ginger cookies that were dipped in tea. This would make the cookies warm and gooey and would create a swirl in the frozen yogurt. This was always enjoyed while watching one of my favorite shows like “Modern Family” or “Girls” or “Happy Ending”….the ultimate double indulgence.

I became lazy about watching my food, and I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted. I told the perfectionist in me to relax, go put her feet up.

Then came the week of my boyfriend’s birthday. I ate cake four days in a row.

What I didn’t realize was that allowing myself to indulge made it less forbidden. The sweets were not as exciting because they were not off limits. The rebel in me became bored. Then at a certain point I no longer needed the desserts every night.

[Some of you might role your eyes..."oh Frozen Yogurt...that's the healthy stuff, she's crazy." The truth is when you are short and curvy and you're trying to lose a few pounds...eating a bunch of sugar (even fro yo)--before bed--will get you.]

After the fro yo indulgence and burnout I decided that was enough dessert and I wanted to be more aware of what I was eating. I wasn’t caving in to the enemy by being aware of my health, but rather going after something that I wanted for a long time–and that was being able to go to bed without dessert (or wine). Tracking what I ate didn’t seem horrible like it once did. And now I track what I eat.


The cookie monster within you will set you free

From tracking I realized I wasn’t eating enough during the day. What I learned from tracking my food is that you shouldn’t deprive yourself all day only to eat too much at night. Don’t let the diet industry manage your thoughts all day until you can’t take it anymore and you eat everything in the fridge.

Now I get to eat what I want during the day. I eat peanut butter. Sometimes I eat it twice a day. I don’t eat the whole jar, but I eat it. And it tastes wonderful. As of very recently I’m not eating chocolate protein bars anymore, but real chocolate…

And I feel a lot better. Neither weight watchers nor the gym nor a low carb, high protein diet were the answers for me. It was actually getting past the mental barriers in my mind about pleasure and deprivation.

There is a weird thing in America around eating. The big lie the diet industry tells us is we can shame and abuse ourselves into getting thin. The truth is you don’t abuse food when you don’t feel deprived of it.

So the psychology lesson is when you don’t deprive yourself, you end up empowered. You get control of your life and your choices. You do that by giving yourself what you need when you need it.

You can see my electronic hoarding of desserts on Pinterest. The hoarding is only happening online now I’m happy to report. Until I feel like eating cake again…and I will eat it, without guilt.

 

The Hungry Homemaker: How Women Are Taught To Feed While Depriving Herself

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I’m interested in the relationship between women and food. That being said I’ve been reading Fat is a Feminist issue by Susie Orbach. I’m reading this book because I’m curious about how woman are taught to be nurturers and providers, while also taught they must deprive themselves of food in order to be worthy.

As Susie Orbach wrote in her book that looks at compulsive eating, “The roots of compulsive eating in women stem from women’s position in society–she feeds everyone else, but her needs are personally illegitimate.”

To be slim is the ultimate achievement for women. But to magnify this pressure, it’s not just about being disciplined about what goes in your mouth, you also must be the perfect homemaker–crafty, DIY, it’s cool in a 50s kitschy way to be the perfect homemaker today in 2012.

There’s nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, but there is something deeply wrong with the media’s relentless cacophony of messaging that women must be perfect. And we participate in the creation of this cultural reality for women.

Go look at Pinterest. Pinterest features an array of fashionable clothes, artfully witty infographics about feeling guilty for eating chocolate, tips on how to get a six pack, photos of Ryan Gosling, religious messages,  and aesthetically pleasing photographs of food. It’s like being in the mind of the girls from the Virgin Suicides if they ever grew up. It’s a scary place–and this ladies and gentleman is the dominant ideology of America in 2012.

“In a woman’s psychology, an important aspect of her self-esteem derives from her ability to be a good nurturer–in perhaps a parallel sense the aspect of self-esteem that a man derives from his job and his capacity to be the economic provider….if we take a look at almost any magazine that is directed at women, a woman is assaulted page after page with reminders about her responsibility to feed others…At the same time, the not-so-subtle message of women’s magazines and daytime television advertisements is that women cannot afford to rely on their judgement about what food is appropriate.”

What Susie Orbach wrote about in the late 70s is not a new story, but the sheer omnipresence of that story has grown due to the spread of technology. Everywhere we look we are told we must be thin and we must also be the providers–the one who makes the decision in the house about what’s for dinner.

Additionally women learn to hate their bodies at a young age, often through their relationship with their mothers. How she feels about herself is passed down through the generations.

“A woman’s body we learn, is not a very good or safe environment to live inside. Rarely are our mothers and other female adults able to convey to a young woman that her body, whatever natural shape it has is a source of pride and of beauty since they themselves have not been able to feel that….It is no wonder then that we become frightened of our bodies and see them not as where we live but as a part of us that we must control, watch and direct.”

That joke about the Jewish mother (or Greek mother or any mother), “eat, eat, you’re skin and bone” rings true. Women sweat to feed their families but when it comes to their own needs, forget about it. And not providing for the family in the kitchen makes you less of a woman.

“Food is what she gives to others but must deprive herself of. Food is good for others but somehow dangerous to the woman herself. Food, which is imbued with the spirit of giving when prepared for others, takes on a sinister face when women eat. A woman is meant to police her eating, to feel cautious of what she eats. Food is her power in the family, it is her way of caring for others. Food is her power in the family, it is a means by which she exerts incredible influence; she brings comfort, reward, reassurance through it.”

I want to know, as a society what is this obsession with looking like a teenage boy? Why is the media still dictating that the ideal woman looks like Justin Bieber, but has big boobs? Who is driving home that image? Are they straight?

We need to start questioning what we all take as normal and acceptable. It’s not acceptable.

The Media Simulates A “Not Enough” Experience For Women

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Our experience here on planet earth is simulated by the environment in which we live.

We experience that environment as a set of cultural norms–slowly conditioning us to live in civil society throughout our childhood and into adulthood.

A few months ago I listened to an NPR story on Fresh Air about an Afghanistan vet named Sam Brown who returned from war with severe burns all over his body. His pain was excruciating and the only treatment that cooled his suffering was not a treatment at all. It was a virtual world called “SnowWorld.”

This simulation created an illusion where he walked with snowy penguins along cool winding rivers. It was the only thing that could soothe his burning body.

I bring this up because recently I saw this video created by Dove called “Onslought” and I was once reminded of how our experience here on earth is a simulated experience thanks to the increasingly intimate media we’re entrenched in. I was reminded those who have the power to influence that experience have become belligerent and ravenous in their appetite for insecure girls and women who are brainwashed by this simulated experience. The experience repeatedly tells females they’re not enough. And there’s a fiscal reason for this powerful and all-consuming messaging. It’s profitable.

If the powers at be are simulating the experience for girls and women here on earth, what is that experience?

While as adults we can choose what to watch and who to listen to, it is almost impossible to unlearn a set cultural norms.

I’m reading a book right now called “Fat is a Feminist Issue.” It’s an old book published in 1978 by Susie Orbach.

I’m reading this book because I’m curious to understand the difference in the women of the 70s who were then in their early 20s and 30s and women today.

“The emphasis on presentation as the central aspect of a woman’s existence makes her extremely self-conscious. It demands that she occupy herself with a self-image that others will find pleasing and attractive–an image that will immediately convey what kind of woman she is. She must observe and evaluate herself, scrutinizing every detail of herself as though she were an outside judge. She attempts to make herself in the image of womanhood presenting by billboards, newspapers, magazines and television.

The media present women either in a sexual context or within the family, reflecting a woman’s two prescribed roles, first as a sex object, then as a mother. She is brought up to marry by ‘catching’ a man with her good looks and pleasing manner. To do this she must look appealing, earthy, sensual, sexual, virginal, innocent, reliable, daring, mysterious, coquettish and thin. In other words she offers her self-image on the marriage marketplace. As a married woman, her sexuality will be sanctioned and her economic needs will be looked after….

Since women are taught to see themselves from the outside as candidates for men, they become prey to the huge fashion and diet industries that first set up the ideal images and then exhort women to meet them. The message is loud and clear–the woman’s body is not her own. The woman’s body is not satisfactory as it is.”

Reading this book has been eye-opening. I believe Orbach’s words are more relevant than ever. The media becomes an increasingly intimate part of our lives. The pressures on girls and women to meet a set of unrealistic expectations set upon us by the media I believe has complicated women’s relationships with their own bodies. Additionally now women are still involved in a marketplace of sorts–however they are taught to compete to be perfect girls while being their own bread winner (until a man comes along to save them from having to not only work hard on her looks but work hard to pay rent). Even I somehow fell victim to this message as a child of the 80s.

Consider this excerpt from the book “Fat Is A Feminist Issue.“

“Failure and success are powerful concepts within our world. Very early on we absorb the idea that a limit has been set on what is available and we learn to compete for what is around. If we are successful we are rewarded and if we are unsuccessful our lot is to suffer…..Competitive feelings get triggered in a situation of scarcity where there is not enough to go around, or where only a certain number of people can be rewarded. In general, men are taught to compete against other men for jobs and status. They gain prestige in the world of work by being better than other men…Women are forced to compete with each other for the man who will help the winner secure her social position”

We continue to climb to the top to be the most sexually attractive, groomed and socially viable option. However we’re also taught we need to be incredibly accomplished in our careers as well. The modern woman needs to be perfect. There is no margin for error. At least that’s what the simulated experience is by the media.

“In this battle for social survival, women are essentially competing on the basis of their sexual appeal while other aspects of their personality are viewed as attributes to be paraded in the attempt to secure a man.”

I am fascinated with the notion that to be a woman is to constantly walk with extremely contradictory ideas in her mind.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog we simulate our reality here on earth, but who is directing this simulation? Is the simulator being responsible? Or are they simulating an experience of “not enough” so we continue to buy products promising “enough.” How long will we stand here drinking it all in?

 

MTV Cribs and Your Mind Mansion

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Do you remember the show MTV Cribs? This show would give viewers a look inside pop star’s mansions–a view into the secret world of a millionaire.

This show was the pioneer of many similar shows along the lines of “lives of the rich and famous.”

What if a house was like a mind? And instead of a show showcasing how fabulous a house was, what if there was a show that brought you inside the mind of a woman? Instead of, wow look at this $50,000 dollar couch the focus was:

“wow look at the health of this self-esteem.”

Instead of look at this ten car “garage”….

We changed the focus to:

“Look at this inventory of spiritual tools that transport Jane to higher ground when she’s in a dark place.”

So what’s in your crib?

Is your mind a mansion full of tools that make your experience here on earth a rich one?

Relentless Attacks on Women’s Bodies

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I am honest with you my dear readers. My entire life I’ve had to consistently check myself around the body topic. At a certain point I started to realize how much body shame affected my life. Body shame will bring low self-esteem, depression, anger, sadness. Today I wonder how many other women out there are silently suffering the same pain that I talk about here today.

Some of us are starving for love–that can be self love, love from a partner or love from a family member that was never felt. In an effort to secure love women often drive themselves to a dark place. On top of that, the media and the culture have created a bizarro world where women will go to extremes to contort their body until it meets the expectation. And it’s normal and acceptable to do that.

All I around I see how normal it is to attack women, and even for women to attack themselves. This weekend late one night my boyfriend and I were watching Jeff Ross the comedian who is known as “the roastmaster.” He was making a ton of comments about Christina Aguilera and the weight she’s gained recently. It was relentless. I remember being a girl in the audience for a stand up comic like Jeff–laughing behind a tense smile thinking to myself…”am I as fat as Christina Aguilera?” Am I like her? Or am I “safe”?

It’s hard for me to believe networks like Comedy Central still get away with programming that directly attacks women’s bodies–and is arguably misogynistic. I hope women leaders who run companies that advertise with Comedy Central think twice before sending their media buyers to Comedy Central. To make change we are going to truly put our money where our mouth is.

Today it still makes me sad to see women competing on a treadmill of validation. I write about these issues because I refuse to believe that you–reading this out there–aren’t suffering in silence.


Image from Strong Inside Out

At a root level, it’s understandable women are terrified of being unattractive–of being unpretty. While survival today does not depend on attracting a man who can help scavenge for food, women still yearn to feel taken care of–to be part of a tribe–to be loved.

It’s time to create a new conversation. It’s time for women to stop the madness of diets and self-loathing, and start a fresh conversation around living life, being a human being and reclaiming their bodies back. Join me by taking a stand and saying no entities like Comedy Central who are operating in a 1950s mentality.

I’m Enough and I’ve Had Enough

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You are not a problem to be solved. Think about how you are talking to yourself. If you are angry, turn that anger externally. You were not born feeling like you weren’t enough. This feeling was created by multibillion dollar industries including the diet industry, advertising, media and essentially every industry marketing to women.

You made us hate our thighs, and instead we are going to start hating you. Join me in this journey to rewrite what it means to be female in America in 2012.

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How the Modern Woman Lives Gracefully

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There are still days when I lose myself. I don’t have the control over my mind that I find easy on other days. My thought bubbles start leaking oil….

“I should be thinner”
“I’m not wearing the right outfit”
“Do I really seem like a career woman?”
“Do I have enough money in the bank?”
“That girl is so thin, she must be happy”
“I don’t look very hot today.”

[no I'm not making this up]

Then I stop my mind from this free fall.

I make the mental stretch to change the channel.

Firstly I know that none of these things make me happy, and none of these things (that I was telling myself I lacked) define who I am. Secondly I remember you can never assume anything about anyone else. Thirdly, I remember that what you focus on grows, and if you come from a “have not” frame of mind you’re not going to realize the big dreams you have for yourself.

As this channel change happens, I remind myself of who I am and what I have and what I stand for today. I remind myself that I am different and that’s what makes me special. I remember I do not value what mainstream society’s marketing values. Then I start to celebrate all the things that make me different.

Here are some of my thoughts on where modern “Grace” doesn’t come from. [It's "modern" because I am re-writing my own rules on valuable traits, because I am not a fan of the value set my society has marketed to me].

1. Grace doesn’t come from looking like someone else.

2. Grace doesn’t come from being 10 pounds lighter.

3. Grace doesn’t come from having a certain job title.

4. Grace doesn’t come from having a fancy car.

5. Grace doesn’t come from looking perfect.

6. Grace doesn’t come from having a ring on your finger.

7. Grace doesn’t come from having a perfectly clean house.

8. Grace doesn’t come from behaving like a nice girl all the time.

9. Grace doesn’t come from anything you can hold or wear.

10. Grace doesn’t come from buying a house or apartment.

So now let’s look at where modern “Grace” comes from.

1. Community. Building meaningful relationships based on trust. Friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships–studies show that belonging to a group or community makes people happy. Researchers found that people with strong social connections have less stress-related health problems, lower risk of mental illness, and faster recovery from trauma or illness. As someone who prefers to be alone or in small groups, I need a reminder of this more than anyone. Get out of the house!

2. Spirit. Fighting for what you want in your life, fighting your internal road blocks and a heightened awareness of your own weaknesses so you can prepare for those moments when life throws you a curve ball. The most attractive women I know have immense spirits. They are community builders, they are fixers, they are healers, they are movers (and shakers), they are can-do women. To be traditionally attractive you have to spend a lot of time “taking care of yourself” eg. shopping, nail salons, make-up, hair, exercising….This is the antithesis of building up a big spirit (though I will say exercising makes us happier humans, and more compassionate to others). Just because the incredible marketing engine of our America mostly encourages women to look perfect, rather than be big contributors to their communities, doesn’t mean you have to absorb this message. You can write a different story for yourself. I am slowly and awkwardly doing this for myself, and I feel more alive than I have in years.

3. Compassion. Having a soft heart for others, and a soft non-judgemental heart for yourself will differentiate you as a person. The most compassionate people I know glow with luminosity. None of them look like Gisele Bundchen. What billboard today reads, “Compassion is hot”? I’m going to create one. You cannot be non-judgemental toward others until you stop judging yourself. Remember that when you open your mouth to judge someone else–you’re talking about yourself.

4. Me time. Grace comes from having a quiet mind and spirit. Take time for yourself. Write in your journal, meditate, take a bath, take a swim, dance in your bedroom….but please take time for yourself.

5. Emotional wealth. The most attractive graceful people I know have an immense presence. They have an immense amount of joy that doesn’t come from anything material. You get the sense they are just grateful, easy to please people. I’m working on this one, but I notice the more gentle I am with myself when I look in the mirror or I step on a scale, the happier I feel toward others. I realize for everyone this doesn’t have to do with judging your physical self, but for me this has been a long battle that only now am I starting to win.

What makes you feel graceful? Please share in the comments section below.

I’m Not A Size Zero, and Neither is My Personality

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As a little girl playing soccer I learned to take up space. I learned to be fearless on the field. And most importantly I learned taking up space was an important aspect of being a competitive player.

Then when I was 15 years old I learned that this was now a different game.

When I was 15 years old I remember seeing the movie What Women Want for the first time. I specifically recall a scene where Mel Gibson’s character could hear women’s thoughts. In the scene he ran by a woman on roller blades who was counting all the calories she ate for that day.

That scene was the first time I realized that it is normal and acceptable for women to have body issues. For women to have disorderly eating. It’s the universal female experience to want to be less of yourself as a woman.

After the age of 15 I started to soak up the messaging that now I would be judged according to how little space I could take up. The thick strong quads and thighs that took me far in a soccer match now made me unappealing. Less worthy. Less attractive.

As a young woman there were many days when–of the 60,000 thoughts a day that women have–I spent at least 20,000 figuring out how I was going to make my thighs disappear. If I could only be a smaller version of myself–like Felicity at NYU looking beautifully melancholy about her handsome bed-headed boyfriend Ben.

I started to dislike my body. I felt wildly uncomfortable in my own skin.

In college I can remember feeling such self-hatred I wanted to take a piece of my thighs out. I felt angry and violent toward my own body. If I could only take up less space….

I would be happy, I would get attention, I would be loved.

And Then I Woke Up And Realized Taking Up Space Feels Amazing

Very slowly over a period of about 9 years I started throwing the external rules out.

I realized my thighs were actually the conduit to a spiritual explosion. These thighs could carry me for miles and miles. These thighs could take me across half-marathons and then full marathons. These thighs helped me chase down a senator at an event for a podcast interview.

I started to get angry at the people and the systems that told me my thighs made me unappealing. I stopped spending time with women who reminded me of me before I went through this awakening.

Today I thank god I’m not a size zero. I thank my body for providing a healthy vessel to live life on this planet.

I’m starting a revolution of thigh love. Of worthiness. Of self-nourishment. A radical act of self-love. And I want to inspire radical acts of self-love across the nation, and the world.

I love you thighs. To take up space is to feel worthy. When you feel worthy your light shines brighter. You’re funny. You’re innovative. You take risks, and you believe you can do things, and you do.

Say it with me:

  • Thank you, body, for all that you do.
  • I am strong, I am good.
  • When I see myself, I see beauty.
  • My body is sacred.
  • I am powerful and strong.
  • My beauty is my own.
  • I love who I am, body and soul.

Summer of Gratitude

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Most mornings I wake up, take Athena the dog out, and attempt to move my wild mind from a place of sleepy yawns and achy muscles to a place of gratitude, sunshine and spiritual wealth. It takes a few minutes but I eventually get there. I notice the better I take care of myself through the prior day–the less chemicals, wine, and processed food I have, the easier it is to wake up in a good space. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s true for me. I has taken me years to understand that.

Here are some ideas around gratitude that have been top of mind for me lately.

Summer of Gratitude:

Don’t hope more than you work. Many people complain about the life they want without stepping in a proactive direction. But one has to ask, is that what they really want? If this was what a person truly wanted, they wouldn’t have time to talk about hopes and dreams, because they’d be busy doing it. If this is you, and you dream of one day having a certain life, job, boyfriend (or girlfriend), look, knowledge, language….there are ten million ways to go about achieving that. Get to work on finding a way. Don’t waste one more moment sitting around complaining. If you think you deserve certain opportunities, you will go for them and you will do your absolute best. If you think of yourself as someone who delivers great work, you will deliver great work. If you think you aren’t good enough you will submit unfinished projects. Capeesh [insert Italian tough love accent here]?

Body-Talk. We forget why our bodies are here. These vertical vessels allow our spirits to move around this earth experiencing the world. I’m not sure where along the spectrum we lost sight of what functions are bodies serve, but we’ve really forgotten the physicality of our bodies. We are too concerned with fitting into a fabricated beauty ideal that frankly doesn’t fit most of the human population. For those of you like me who have gone through struggles, bad days and shame around body talk it’s not always easy to step into a light airy dress of gratitude. We wake up, step on the scale and give ourselves applause or a mental lashing depending on what we see. As Geneen Roth says, shaming yourself will not help you lose weight. Wake up and say your gratitudes for the vessel that allows you to experience this life. Give special love and attention to the very things you see as your flaws. Have you ever seen someone who doesn’t look stereotypically model-ish but is having a damn good time anyway? They glow! It’s not about a number on the scale people!

Count Your Beans. I recently watched a video with Marie Forleo and Kris Carr. Kris Carr talks about how she started her own business and mentions that she spent a good amount of time “counting her beans” before she started her business (Crazy, Sexy, Life). That means SAVING buckets of money. On a related note, yesterday I had coffee with a new friend who is a finance consultant. We were talking about women and money. She felt that a lot of women just don’t want to look. She said the energy around money is unfavorable for many women. She believes many women have a feeling of scarcity around money. For anyone that wants to get their finances in order–they need to respect and appreciate what they have. They need to use tools to look at the numbers and understand what they mean. We all need to know where our money goes if we want to create more of it.

Ok friends, it’s the weekend. Take time AWAY from the computer. Reflect on your week on a hike, outside or away from anything you have to turn on or turn off. Go be with yourself and enjoy.


photo via Henkaa