Category Archives: small business

Designing Your Nontraditional Worklife Without Fear of Judgement

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Breaking a habit is hard. Unlearning a lifetime of conditioning is harder.

Some of us tried the corporate thing and after too many closed doors and airtight containers decided to venture out on the unpaved path of self-employment. Many of us are working in creative fields like writing, art and I will add consulting in here. However many of us are not enjoying that dream of self-directed employment.

It took me a while to rid myself of non 9 to 5 er guilt. For a long time there was something to someone else always telling me where to be, what to do and that I was ok. Even the punishment (as a recent college grad) of those mistakes everyone makes in the first few years in the workplace made you feel alive.

But I knew it wasn’t for me, and I learned about self-employment and slowly fell in love.

I think many people find joy in predictability–but not me. I need some predictability and a constant stream of variation to keep me fresh and alive.

The fondness for predictability reminded me of the documentary I recently saw Jiro Dreams of Sushi. In the film an 86 year old Japanese chef with a three star michelin restaurant said, “happiness is doing the same thing every day.” He talked about how for sushi chefs predictability is bliss. This is a man who supported himself since he was seven years old (when he was pushed out on his own).

While I have great admiration for Jiro and people like him, it can be said that people who are stuck in what they feel is a dead end job will never get to higher ground if they don’t decide they want to (and want more than what is given to them).

When I started writing and podcasting as part of my corporate job, I relished the few days I worked from home (that was three times in five years). I didn’t understand why I had to dress up and make the work commute when I could create the content in the comfort of my own home. In fact I always found it more difficult to focus in an office environment where there were distractions all day every day.

Here are my thoughts on fear of being judged for a nontraditional worklife:

The truth is the only one “watching” us is us. If it’s the critical parent or “those people” we went to school with or past coworkers, no one really cares that much about what we’re doing except us. If we are happy and thriving (and able to pay our bills) then other people are happy for us. In fact, people only know and believe what you tell them. You’ll notice the criticism you get from others are the statements you’ve already made out loud (to them). If you tell people what you do with conviction, professionalism and self-respect, they will respect you. You are driving.

The point of this post is to remind you that the judgemental voice inside of you is not necessarily you. However, you are giving that voice prime real estate by listening to him/her. Acknowledge the voice, give it a seat at the table, and move on. Anyone who is needy doesn’t have their needs met. Meet your own needs. Give yourself permission to design and live your life the way you want to.

This Is What A Business Woman Looks Like

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I am building my business Artemis, and as a result I do a lot of networking.

Every week I meet with women of all backgrounds and professions. Generally it’s in the form of coffees, or even groups of women who invite me into their closed circles as a guest.

This last week I did this at least four times. One of the events I attended was put on by a fabulous female founder’s networking organization I’ve recently joined called NAWBO. It was Women Trailblazers In The Wine Industry. The speaking part of the event featured moderator Sharon Harris, Owner of Rarecate Wine Panelists Ziggy Eschliman, a.k.a. Ziggy the Wine gal Celia Welch, Owner and Winemaker of Corra Wines Katherine Inman. Owner and Winemaker, Inman Family Wines and Lesley Russell, VP Marketing at St. Supery.

They all had incredible stories about how they got to where they were now. All of them mentioned the difficulties of working in a male dominated field. What was interesting to me about the panel was the starkly different personalities who had all created very successful careers for themselves.

What Does A Successful Business Woman Look Like?

If you would have asked me to create what I thought a successful business woman looked like when I was 15 years old I would have drawn something similar to what we see in the stock photo images we see on websites. She would be angular and slim, in a tight fitting black suit, high heels, pearls and stockings. She’d be standing, hunched over the desk with one hand down on the table looking ready to pounce.

If you google “business woman,” you get something somewhat similar to what I describe. Although in reality (according to google image results) she has dark hair, glasses and a black suit with a white collar (something you might find a hostess wearing at a nice restaurant). She generally has her arms folded over her chest or her hand on her chin. She’s always smiling.

What I’ve come to realize is there’s no one size fits all business woman look. The one defining characteristic among all business women is resilience. They keep getting back up no matter how many times they fall down.

Women who work in business tend to have thick skin–or whatever you call having to deal with hardship, setback, skepticism, dismissive assumptions by colleagues, being the nurturer for the family while carrying the burden of work, children, marriage challenges (sometimes divorce)… Women become tough when they realize how incredibly strong they have to be to survive through all of life’s pressures. This doesn’t mean men don’t have pressures, but it means they have more support systems set up for themselves. After all we’ve only been in the workforce for about half a century. We don’t have the centuries of support systems that catch us when we fall.

From what I can tell, when we fall we eat dirt and look for ways to clean ourselves up without making it anyone else’s burden.

There are words that people have created for women when we ask for what we want. Nagging, crazy, screetchy voice, needy….but the truth is, if a man were to say the same things in the same tone, he would just be called “direct” or “a man who demands excellence” or “creative genius.”

Corporate Women Mentoring Programs, All Talk and No Action?

Recently I met with a woman at a large consumer packaged goods company. She told me that while the company acts like it supports internal support systems for women, when it comes to actual mentoring and a culture of support, it’s non-existent.

Once I worked with an executive in the tech industry who told me he did not believe women were an under-served group of the population. He rolled his eyes that I believed women needed special support in the business world.

Instead of waiting around for employers or the other people in our lives to understand what we need, we need to go out and create it for ourselves. We need to create it for the next generation of women, and continue to create cultures of support across America.

Regarding media for men vs. media for women….even the media that is created for men convinces men of their own confidence, power and potential. For women the media saturates us with messages of insecurity, anxiety, subordinance and fear.

Enough is enough. The more women can come together and realize the potential–that there is nothing above our heads but endless sky and nothing around our hearts except unconditional love–we will improve as an under-served group of the population.

There is no real competition. The idea of women having to compete with each other for opportunities, love and success is a fallacy.

The more one of us succeeds the more possibilities for the next one. If we stop competing by trying to meet the standards that our culture has created for us, and come together, the better we will turn out collectively.

I saw a quote this week on twitter from Project Eve. The quote was:

“It’s not about breaking through the glass ceiling, it’s about building your own house.” 

We all can build houses where women can be themselves. Where we sit around the room in circles with wine or chocolate or a yoga mat and nothing to ingest and talk, candidly.

Brave

I went to an event this week and I did an exercise with a group of women. The exercise was an ice breaker to figure out commonalities among the group. I later found out one of the group members happened to be Katherine Sarafian the Producer of the Pixar movie Brave.

I was delightfully surprised that if you open your eyes and look around, you are much closer to the people who share your values than you assume on first glance. I had no clue this woman was the mind behind Brave, a feminist cartoon movie that changed the game for the entire entertainment industry. It was the first movie I’ve seen to depict an independent female lead who doesn’t believe a fairytale prince charming will solve her life.

Get Out of the House and Meet With Other Women

The more I “get out of the house” and meet with other women in my community the happier I am. The more I realize that there is no cookie cutter “business woman” that exists. I learn that really successful women ask for what they want, and more importantly give themselves what they need.

They put themselves first.

That is how women go on to create hugely successful careers in industries like wine, media and more.

What did you think a “business woman” looked like when you were growing up? Were you right?

Living the Life You Dream

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Dear Readers

I wanted to formally announce that I currently have a coaching practice. I work with millennials–20 and 30 somethings–who are contemplating change in their careers. Whether it’s a career change, starting your own business or figuring out your own career path within your current company, I provide a roadmap and the tools to get you there.

I bring the clarity and direction to make the positive change you desire in your life.

I help you drive toward your desired destination–now, not some time off in the distant future.

If you’re someone who is looking to make a change in your life, and you’re ready to reach higher ground, you might consider working with me.

Who wants to do everything alone? Not me! You shouldn’t have to either. We ask the important questions, and together we find the right solutions. We make it simple, and we make it fun.

Here is a testimonial from one of my coaching clients Meagan H. who works in healthcare.

Because this was on LinkedIn, she lists top qualities: “Personable, Good Value, High Integrity.”

“Blake has provided some very thoughtful insights on how I can develop as a young professional. She has both a keen intuition and a well-developed knowledge base on what are effective steps for young women to achieve a lifestyle of success.”

Interested in a complimentary chat? Email me your phone number and I will be happy to call you. [email protected]

Do You Say Yes! To YourSELF?

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Sunday I attended an event put on by Lee Richter a local Oakland business owner with 5 companies including a successful pet hospital Montclair Vet. She invited money expert Loral Langemeier to speak. Loral has a 100 million dollar company.

Loral looked right at me when talking about wealth because I admitted I swore by Suze Orman (who talks about debt as if it’s a sin). And I don’t take on debt ever. Loral said that Suze Orman’s attitude about wealth and debt were not helpful for entrepreneurs. She said that really successful female entrepreneurs are great risk takers.

Loral also talked about women and our feeling that we need to “take people with us.” That means we can’t move forward unless everyone around us gives us the go ahead to do so. But if you are a female entrepreneur you know that often you are doing things despite the frowns from family, friends and strangers.

At the end of the day it’s about your attitude toward yourself and your dreams. Do you say YES to yourself? Do you have that unshakable belief in yourself? Do you give yourself a permission slip to go after your dreams?

Here are ten declarations I received from this weekend’s talk I’d like to share with you. They are meaningful for me because I believe women (like me) need to change their attitude toward money (and making it).

Ten Declarations To Cleanse Your Attitude About Attracting “Plenty”

  1. I deserve to be wealthy, healthy and happy.
  2. Wealth comes to me easily.
  3. My money bucket is expanding daily.
  4. A part of all I earn is mine to keep.
  5. My income increases every day–whether I’m working, sleeping or playing.
  6. Ever dollar I spend comes back to me multiplied.
  7. All my investments are profitable.
  8. Money now comes to me in unexpected ways–for the good of all concerned.
  9. I’m always in the right place at the right time.
  10. I love my life!

As your attitude toward what is in the cards for you changes, notice your life change.  I am not someone who puts a great emphasis on money. I value my relationships, my beliefs and my dog above money–and I always have. However I do feel that all women can benefit from feeling worthy, deserving and asking for what they want.

I believe in you!

Mastering Life Change, the Infographic

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How well you adjust to change will determine your ability to be successful.

Change can be a friend or foe depending on your willingness to stay flexible and open-minded. When you get too comfortable in your ways, it becomes harder to adjust to new life circumstances. You can make change your best friend by being aware of your own experience throughout the “change process.” Being self-aware is going to be your best weapon in business, and in life.

In this economy in particular, we all need to look at the landscape and see the opportunities, not the statistics.

Last week I wrote a post called 9 Steps to Mastering a Life Change.

Below is the mastering life change infographic we’ve created for you at Artemis.

It is during the darkest times you need to be the most agile, focused and confident. Get support, research answers and believe in yourself. Anything is possible!

Five Tips For Women On Boosting Your Confidence

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I am a fan of the type of confidence that is humble; a quiet strength that needs no announcement.

Confidence comes from following a path in step with your passion. Confidence comes from true belief in oneself and one’s work. You know what you are building is powerful–you continue down that path even in the face of skepticism.

Whether you are a female entrepreneur or working your way up the corporate ladder in your job, confidence is essential to moving forward.

Confidence is a funny thing. Some of the most seemingly confident people are actually quite insecure, but have become very good at managing their own fears. While physically looking the part can help, true confidence comes from the inside. It comes from your core. And unshakable confidence is something developed over time (for most of us).

Below are five tips that will help you boost your confidence and help prepare you for any situation.

Five Results-Proven Tips for Female Confidence Building

1. Whisper sweet nothings to yourself. We talk about empathy in the business world, but what about empathy toward ourSELVES?  I encourage you to talk to yourself the way you talk to your favorite pet. How do you react when your pet falls down? Do you swear at your pet? Probably not. That being said, you should be as gentle with yourself as you are with your pet. Or think about how you would talk to a best friend if she were to fall down. It is said that what you believe will eventually come true. If you believe you aren’t enough you won’t go as far. This is true because if you think you aren’t enough you won’t push yourself as far as you would if you thought you could achieve anything. You won’t go for that opportunity, job or guy you think you really deserve. It starts with how you talk to yourself. I want to hear sweet nothings ladies! I want to hear self love from the roof tops!

2. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Confidence comes from preparation. Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Let’s use surfing as an example. If you’ve never surfed before, and you take your board out and you can’t stand up–of course your confidence will take a hit. But if you practice on the beach for a while before you go out there, and study up with some other surfers, your confidence levels will improve. You know you’ve got some tools in your surfer belt to be successful. Get it? Make it easier on yourself by heading out to the waves with the right amount of preparation.

3. Move. I honestly don’t know where I would be without the ability to sweat. Probably on a curb somewhere. Every single day I wake up and go move my body. It gets my chemicals flowing and puts me in a positive place. While I try and abstain from talking about exercise on Facebook, the truth is it’s a really important part of my day. I run with my dog Athena constantly. Running is a great way to get rid of toxic energy. Additionally you get some of the best ideas when you’re running. Take your dog if you can. If you hate to run (like my boyfriend does) I don’t care if it’s aerobics, jumping on your bed, or kung-fu–get out of bed and get moving. You will notice how much better you feel about yourself.

4. Follow your passion. When you focus on the aspect of your job that you love you’re enthusiasm will clearly shine through. If you don’t love anything about your job, you should probably quit. Life is too short. When you talk about why you love what you do, and why it’s personally meaningful, people around you start to light up too. That said even if taking out the trash is your favorite part of your job, find one thing that lights you up and talk about it. People are attracted to other people who are lit up!

5. Everything you do, do your best. Do you know people who try hard at everything they do? Some people call this a Type A personality or a perfectionist. I have been called a Type A before, although in no way do I see myself as that. I just can’t stomach the idea of not trying. Trust me there are days when I feel that way and I have to talk myself into trying (harder). We all hate to lose, and winning comes from truly applying your focus to everything you do. You’ve got one chance. Make it count!

What can you add to this list? What helps make you feel confident? Please feel free to comment below and share with me.

Your Inner Glow: An Interview with Oakland Photographer Nancy Rothstein

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There’s no question that representing yourself in a professional way online can be of great benefit. Having a headshot for your website and your social profiles that is clean, bright and flattering can be a real differentiator. Representing the best version of yourself helps send the right message to prospective new clients, recruiters or potential mates.

What I’ve learned is I grew up insecure about my looks. These insecurities have fueled many of the ideas in this blog and turned into a passion for helping other women feel good about themselves. I always say when I heal other women I heal myself, and when I heal myself I heal other women.

Over time I’ve learned to accept myself and embrace the very things that make me different. I’ve also learned that when I feel happy, I look better in photographs. I believe this is true for other women as well.

It has taken me almost three decades to feel mostly comfortable with myself. Today I know the importance of putting my best foot forward. While there are a million ways things that can go wrong with branding, having nice photos is one advantage that’s easy to take care of. We all need to do the best with what we have.

I’ve recently changed my hair color and I’ve never had professional headshots taken. I recently met a photographer at a NAWBO event named Nancy Rothstein. I learned more about her process, saw her incredible portfolio and wanted to work with her.

Nancy is passionate about helping women feel amazing about themselves, and having that glow come through in her photography. I love working with other women small business owners who are also on a journey to help lift up other women. I can’t say enough positive things about the experience I had with her. She was gentle through the whole process, and a true perfectionist. She made me laugh throughout our photo shoot. She is a true master of light and has an uncanny ability to draw that spirit out of you–and make it come through in your headshot. Learn more about Nancy’s philosophy and views on self esteem in our interview below.

Blake Landau: What is a common reaction you find from clients who are getting their head-shots done for the first time?

Nancy Rothstein: Many people come in saying something like:

I don’t photograph well
I’m not photogenic
I hate photos of myself 
I’ve never had a photo of myself that I’ve liked
I’m really uncomfortable in front of the camera

BL:  Is there a difference between men and women with regard to being self-conscious in front of the camera?

NR: I think it depends on the person. I’ve had both genders [clients] who are self-critical and uncomfortable. Both genders have come in with specific things about themselves that they don’t like. I wouldn’t want to generalize but I do think men are more comfortable with themselves. But I think pretty much everyone has challenges seeing themselves.

BL: Do you have any advice for people who feel insecure about their looks or their weight as far as appearing confident in front of the camera?

NR: Well the first part of that answer is at the root of my beliefs—to remember that your beauty is not skin deep. We’re all inherently beautiful—and it’s our human spirit that makes us beautiful. You know that’s true because you experience someone who is “beautiful” by society and media standards, and you know that it would be possible to interact with someone like that and feel that they’re actually ugly in the way they behave or treat other people. Real beauty is inside of us.

If we remember that real beauty comes from our spirit–and tap into that–we’ll naturally be more relaxed and express our beauty in a photograph. Internal beauty comes out through the face and the expression—it doesn’t matter how much they weigh, how many wrinkles they have, how many spots they have, gray hairs, make-up etc. When a person is shining through their eyes and their expression no one looks at that image and says, “oh they need to lose ten pounds.” They look at it and say “wow what a beautiful person.”

Beyond that technique is very important. You have to choose the right photographer. You want to choose a photographer that can bring your inner glow out. Who can help you to be at east in front of the camera, who can see you for who you are and understand what it is you want to express with your image and be able to draw that out.

There are proven techniques in photography that flatter the subject. In a still image you want to do everything possible to make the image flattering whether that’s lighting, camera angle or composition. Bad lighting can make a model look bad. Additionally we all have asymmetry in our faces. The way the photographer poses you and lights you accentuates the asymmetry or balances it. That’s really important in a still image. When we’re animated and interacting with each we don’t notice that. But real life and a still image are very different ways to be perceived.

BL: How do you help people relax when they’re getting their picture taken?

NR: I have a process that starts before the session in my phone consultation. At that time I talk to the client about what they’re trying to express. What aspects of their personality they’re trying to convey with the image. I also give them homework and have them think about things that relate to the qualities they want to portray in their photograph. In the example of a professional person I might have them think about their favorite client, or the feeling they get from being of service to their clients. It could be a feeling of competence of doing their best work. It could be a virtue they’re striving to embody. It could be anything. I don’t ask them to necessarily share it with me but reflect on it prior to the session. During the session I’m very actively coaching them to reflect on these things and to have their inner experience of tapping into those qualities. The ultimate goal is to create an authentic image that feels spontaneous in the context of a contrived photo shoot. That process which is a combination of mediation and method acting helps the subject to experience something authentic that specifically relates to how they want to be perceived during the session rather than looking at a camera and feeling self-conscious.

BL: Why do you love your job?

NR: I love interacting with people and I love creating dynamic images. I’ve been using a camera since I was seven years old. It ‘s a natural way for me to interact with the world. Lately one of my deepest satisfactions with my work is that I create images that remind people of their essential beauty.

All photos in this blog were taken by Nancy Rothstein. Find Nancy on Facebook and Twitter or her website. 

Kickstarter Project to Build Women’s Self-Esteem?

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Can you imagine a world where it was profitable to tell females they were worthy and amazing, not problems to be solved?

I’ve been thinking about doing a kickstarter project because I want to build a media company that solely focuses on developing women.

Can you imagine a world where there are media companies as big as News Corporation out there sending messages about self love, acceptance and positivity? Since I was a little girl I dreamed of a different world where this was possible.

Most of you is someone or knows someone, who has low self esteem. If there is one job in this world that is in demand, it’s guardian angels who provide inspiration, love and positive encouragement for those who need it, especially women. The violence that happens against women at home is directly correlated to the violent treatment of women by the media, and one way the media acts against women is the war on women’s bodies. Did you know 80% of women feel worse about themselves after seeing a beauty ad. And $20B is spent on beauty marketing in the US annually. That adds up to a population of women who feel like crap about themselves.

A media company? Sounds great Blake, but what does that mean?

I want to build an online magazine that isn’t apologetic about calling out these issues, and that is covered with stories by women of all ages. I want to bring more women across the age spectrum together.  I want to build a social networking aspect where young girls and women can find older women who will mentor them, who can be trusted–and who are local to their area. I want to build an event portfolio as well where we host conferences and workshops across the country, bringing a new dialogue to the forefront. I want to reward girls and women to talk about their experiences, and provide an incentive for girls and women to start talking candidly about their experiences–as I feel this is what it will take to create change–one girl at a time.

All the content, events and opportunities should be free and easily accessible. Eventually if this project picks up, there is no limit to the potential when you’re making people light up. And that’s what this company will be about. Lifting women up.

I want women to share true stories about the people around them who inspire them–about when they feel fearless, when they fear vulnerable. We need more examples of women who are warriors, who have made it. Power doesn’t always show itself in a pinstripe suit. Women need to know they can stand up for themselves and break free from shame. They need to see more examples of this in the media.

Can you imagine if we started rewarding people for breaking the silence? Where they were rewarded for speaking their own truths. Where we see stories of all women in the community who are making a difference? I’d like to see women of all ages connecting across class systems and cultures. This can happen through the internet, and eventually with events and workshops.

For this media company I will need support including someone to build the website, writers, and ambassadors who tell the story of the project and put it in front of the right people. I wanted to ask you—out there—if you thought this was a kickstarter-worthy project, or one you’d personally liked to be involved in. I am not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I do know that this is the work that I feel the world needs. This is the healing that the world needs. A world of broken women is no world at all.


notice the language “Miracle Bras, A Solution for Every Problem.”
[who calls imperfect boobs problems?]

With recent articles like TV Makes Girls Feel Like Crap About Themselves, and Fashion Doesn’t Need to Make Us Feel Like Shit to Make Us Go Shopping I feel things are looking up in certain pockets of the media world.

But then when I turn on the TV or look at the magazine racks I know that this is not true. We are way behind, and if we ever try to take on the media, the beauty industry and the other forces that destroy women’s self esteem, we are going to truly have to band together. Because the smartest, strongest women I know, are working at beauty companies. Because at the end of the day I suppose we all need to bring home the bacon. But does it have to be that way?

The Advertising Shift, And Being Sneaky About Messaging

Spending on traditional advertising by the beauty industry is down, and more attention is being paid to non-traditional channels, sneakier ways to get under women’s skin and sell products. And what’s scary is how successful the industry already is–and how women are compliant and happy participants in our own destruction. I feel the gossip magazines are one of the worst offenders when it comes to destroying women’s self esteem.

In 2011, US Weekly’s circulation was 1,980,862. In 2006 People Magazine’s circulation was 3.75 million and revenue expected to top $1.5 billion. These are actual tangible paper magazines. And it’s a running joke how women devour these gossip mags as soon as possible, but it’s no joke.

Consider this quote from a blog I wrote called Why Women Feel Like Crap About Themselves.

Courtney Martin in The Christian Science Monitor:

“So many perfect girls were raised entirely without organized religion…Overlay our dearth of spiritual exploration with our excess of training in ambition..and you have a generation of godless girls…raised largely without a fundamental sense of divinity. In fact, our worth in the world has always been tied to our looks…not the amazing miracle of mere existence….’

I want to create meaning for women through modern storytelling–a new narrative around what it’s like to be a women in 2012.

So what do you think? Is this a feasible project? What are your questions, concerns, insights?

When Young Women Suffer From Anxiety and Depression

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Did you know that one in four women is on some kind of anti-depressant medication? To me that’s a major red flag about women’s mental health in this country.

I believe most women have struggled with anxiety and depression at some point in her life. I certainly did when I was living in New York. I was in a job where I felt very stuck. I was living paycheck to paycheck trying to keep up. I wasn’t sleeping and like many other sleep-desperate insomniacs would resort to sleeping pills. They left me feeling groggy and hung over.

Many nights I was up until 5am, then I would get up at 7am to run.

I look back at the girl that I was and I feel sad. I feel sad that so many other women suffer from anxiety and depression–two sides of the same coin.

Anxiety and depression result from a feeling of hopelessness. I didn’t have any mentors, let alone female mentors. I didn’t know where to go for career advice, finance advice, life direction advice or guy advice.

The medication helped for a little while, but the medication wasn’t what eventually helped me heal from what I was really running from.

Medication does not help you find the direction you seek in your life. Medication can’t tell you you’re on the wrong career path. Medication can’t help you build up better self esteem.

I’ve been off medication for a few years now and through a lot of soul searching, some great teachers and wonderful mentors, I’m back on a clear path I feel very good about. I no longer lose sleep.

For so many of you out there that suffer in silence, I would encourage you to ask for help. Feelings of depression can stop people from asking for help, but I want women to feel ok about asking. I want women to feel ok about admitting they’re scared, they don’t have the answers, or they need more emotional support than they’re getting.

Here are some of the things I encourage you to do if you are experiencing anxiety and depression, and you’d like to get help:

1. Find a good therapist, even if you can’t currently afford it. Ladies we spend a lot of money on our nails, our hair, our clothes and our gym membership. Having strong mental health is more important than any of these services. I would strongly encourage you to find a therapist by looking at reviews online, or even asking for a recommendation from a friend. It’s very important to have someone to unload on each week that isn’t your mom.

2. Find a career coach. When I wanted to leave my job I had no clue about how I would ever transfer my skill set into another career. I wish I had sought support rather than just keep myself busy so I didn’t have to think about it. If you can’t find a career coach, set up a dozen phone calls with women who you think are interesting, and are in roles that you would want to be in. Find out how they got there. This will help you feel much better and give you some strong ideas on how to move forward in your own career.

3. Watch who you spend your time with, how much you shop, and how much you drink. For some reason in New York City getting wasted every night isn’t considered being an alcoholic. It’s a very social city, there’s a fine line between social drinking and abuse. When you’re feeling lost, taking time for yourself can mean the world to your recovery and growth. Rather than spending time out drinking, seek out networking events–especially groups of other women who are in a similar demographic to you. You’ll feel much less alone when you see how many other women are in the same boat as you. Find a support group. I used to attend Weight Watchers meetings every week. I enjoyed the support group, and the opportunity to vent in a safe space.

I believe women turn to medication because we take on too much trying to be the perfect girl. We are taught never to complain, and to always keep up appearances. Office politics and culture challenges can leave us feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and hopeless. Whether you’re jobless, stuck in a job you hate, or an entrepreneur trying to find her footing–you’re not alone! We all experience feelings of anxiety and sadness time to time–but when it’s crippling your ability to thrive, you might want to stop and evaluate what’s happening.

And I’m here for you.

Athena’s Top Six Suggestions For Being a Successful Female Entrepreneur

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You can’t wake up in a bad mood when an 11 pound ball of furry love and glee pounces on your stomach and lunges to give you too many kisses. Meet Athena, my 24-7 reminder that the world is good and fair and there’s always room for love.

The thing about dogs is they love you no matter what–when your hair looks like a bird’s nest, when you’ve gained weight, when you’re grumpy, when you didn’t pay your Nordstrom bill on time….dogs are truly woman’s best friend.

New age woo woo names

I obviously have a new age woo woo fondness for goddesses as I’ve named my dog [Athena] and my business [Artemis] after them. And you know what? I just prefer to walk on the new age woo woo side of life–because it’s a softer more fun and much funnier side of life where we can reflect and consider our spirits and our feelings. So back to my fondness for goddess names, I will also tell you one of my best friend’s names is Aphrodite. I don’t know why it happened this way with the goddess theme in my life, but it did! Athena, Artemis, Aphrodite….oh my!

Athena–in Greek mythology–is the goddess of wisdom, war, the arts, industry, justice and skill. Women who start their own businesses arguably have to encompass all of these traits at different times. We have to use our intuition to know when to use what tools in our toolbox, who to trust, who to learn from, and how to trust ourselves to drive. While my dog Athena knows nothing about driving, she can provide some important life lessons on how to live. Athena teaches me something new every day. Here she shows us some important lessons that will help us be happier, stronger and emotionally wealthier entrepreneurs.

Here are Athena’s six life lessons for female entrepreneurs.

1. Have playtime. 

Women are great entrepreneurs because we work hard, we’re great multi-taskers, and we are passionate about our work. At the same time we have a habit of getting very much “in our heads.” That means we can’t see the big picture because we’re so caught up in the day to day. Most of us have our best ideas when we’re doing something mindless like taking a shower, going for a run or chopping veggies. Having hobbies outside of work–and tme for play–will help get the creative juices flowing, and give us important time to breathe. By adding play and whimsy into our lives, not only will we find we’re more productive when we do sit down to work, but we will come up with better problem solving for work related things. Additionally doing things with friends is very important to our sense of belonging and feelings of self worth.

2. Spend time with the big dogs.

It’s not surprising that very successful people want to hang out with very successful people. However, I believe that mentoring newbies is very spiritually rewarding and gratifying. I would encourage more established women entrepreneurs and executives to spend time mentoring the young-ins. Also if nothing else, it makes you grateful for how far you’ve come! Young-ins, it’s so important to have mentors, and to spend time with people who are where you want to be. Try and find good people who are smart, established and didn’t cut corners to get to where they are–learn from them. Ask a lot of questions!

3. Work what your mama gave you [also known as use what makes you different to your advantage].

It’s often the very thing we try to hide that makes us special or unique. When we realize that it’s important to “be yourself, because everyone else is taken” [thank you Oscar Wilde] we start to attract people to us. Despite how hard the media and ad industry have tried to make us believe that people are only attracted to a very specific cookie cutter mold, the truth is people are attracted to other people that are vibrant, that shine.  We attract what we want when we are excited about what we’re doing, and we are feeling spiritually wealthy and joyful. That “sheen” comes from living your life, being you–flaws ‘n all. People are attracted to authenticity and passion. Wear what your mama gave you, and don’t try to hide those “flaws,” instead use them to your advantage. “Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses.” – Madame Marie du Deffand.

4. Go for it!

Over analyzing every detail of a move can slow us down. Sometimes the very thing we’re afraid of is joy and success. When you don’t give yourself time to noodle over something for too long, you will be more prone to do it. As Bill Cosby once said, “First, decide what you truly want. Then, decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it” or let’s learn from Amelia Earhart who said, “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” Athena tells us “just dive in.” What doesn’t kill you ultimately makes you stronger. Or at least provides some funny stories/blog/book material.

5. “Every morning we are born again.” -Buddha

My dog freaks out every time we go for a walk. She wags her tail back and forth like a ticking clock and smiles a big toothy grin! When we walk, like a true connoisseur she wants to smell every piece of grass, every flower, and every dog we meet along the way. She has pure pleasure from even the most simple activity–being outside on a walk.

Something goes awry with humans in the process of growing older–we lose our sense of whimsy–and become desensitized to life’s small pleasures. We become unaware of the sheer miracle of being alive. Every day is a chance to enjoy something new, learn something about the world, about ourselves. My dog reminds me every day to be a softer, gentler human being–one that walks with gratitude.

6. Rest.

It’s an important part of life. Give yourself time throughout the day to be quiet. It is said that when we quiet down, we truly hear what the universe are trying to tell us. Often we already have the answers we are looking for, but we can’t hear them with all the noise. We all need to go out of our way to provide time for quiet and rest (most times that also means no television–no engagement). Remember life is not a race, it’s a marathon. We need time throughout to be quiet.

And with that please feel free to share with me and Athena what your suggestions are for being a better female entrepreneur. We’re all ears!