Category Archives: Running

Five Tips For Women On Boosting Your Confidence

Posted on by
Reply

I am a fan of the type of confidence that is humble; a quiet strength that needs no announcement.

Confidence comes from following a path in step with your passion. Confidence comes from true belief in oneself and one’s work. You know what you are building is powerful–you continue down that path even in the face of skepticism.

Whether you are a female entrepreneur or working your way up the corporate ladder in your job, confidence is essential to moving forward.

Confidence is a funny thing. Some of the most seemingly confident people are actually quite insecure, but have become very good at managing their own fears. While physically looking the part can help, true confidence comes from the inside. It comes from your core. And unshakable confidence is something developed over time (for most of us).

Below are five tips that will help you boost your confidence and help prepare you for any situation.

Five Results-Proven Tips for Female Confidence Building

1. Whisper sweet nothings to yourself. We talk about empathy in the business world, but what about empathy toward ourSELVES?  I encourage you to talk to yourself the way you talk to your favorite pet. How do you react when your pet falls down? Do you swear at your pet? Probably not. That being said, you should be as gentle with yourself as you are with your pet. Or think about how you would talk to a best friend if she were to fall down. It is said that what you believe will eventually come true. If you believe you aren’t enough you won’t go as far. This is true because if you think you aren’t enough you won’t push yourself as far as you would if you thought you could achieve anything. You won’t go for that opportunity, job or guy you think you really deserve. It starts with how you talk to yourself. I want to hear sweet nothings ladies! I want to hear self love from the roof tops!

2. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Confidence comes from preparation. Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Let’s use surfing as an example. If you’ve never surfed before, and you take your board out and you can’t stand up–of course your confidence will take a hit. But if you practice on the beach for a while before you go out there, and study up with some other surfers, your confidence levels will improve. You know you’ve got some tools in your surfer belt to be successful. Get it? Make it easier on yourself by heading out to the waves with the right amount of preparation.

3. Move. I honestly don’t know where I would be without the ability to sweat. Probably on a curb somewhere. Every single day I wake up and go move my body. It gets my chemicals flowing and puts me in a positive place. While I try and abstain from talking about exercise on Facebook, the truth is it’s a really important part of my day. I run with my dog Athena constantly. Running is a great way to get rid of toxic energy. Additionally you get some of the best ideas when you’re running. Take your dog if you can. If you hate to run (like my boyfriend does) I don’t care if it’s aerobics, jumping on your bed, or kung-fu–get out of bed and get moving. You will notice how much better you feel about yourself.

4. Follow your passion. When you focus on the aspect of your job that you love you’re enthusiasm will clearly shine through. If you don’t love anything about your job, you should probably quit. Life is too short. When you talk about why you love what you do, and why it’s personally meaningful, people around you start to light up too. That said even if taking out the trash is your favorite part of your job, find one thing that lights you up and talk about it. People are attracted to other people who are lit up!

5. Everything you do, do your best. Do you know people who try hard at everything they do? Some people call this a Type A personality or a perfectionist. I have been called a Type A before, although in no way do I see myself as that. I just can’t stomach the idea of not trying. Trust me there are days when I feel that way and I have to talk myself into trying (harder). We all hate to lose, and winning comes from truly applying your focus to everything you do. You’ve got one chance. Make it count!

What can you add to this list? What helps make you feel confident? Please feel free to comment below and share with me.

My Top Ten Tips for 2012.

Posted on by
2

I love coaching people through positive suggestions because I do this for myself. Thanks for your readership for 2011–the first full year I had my blog. Here we go!

1. Plan your goals in achievable chunks. Give yourself short-term, achievable and manageable benchmarks. When I was training for the marathon–during the first part of training I was terrified by the number 26.2. But over time I built up my mileage and learned it wasn’t so bad if I ran with friends, and brought treats with me (like alien food called “Gu” to keep me sustained). 7 miles turned into 16, and 16 to 20, and 20 to 26.2. I never thought I would do that. And I did it. Now I’m eager to see what else I can do that I thought I couldn’t.

2. Celebrate. We don’t do this enough. If you are working toward a goal, every step should have a celebration. Learn to reward yourself in positive ways. It doesn’t have to include spending money or eating chocolate. Find ways to treat yourself and learn to celebrate your achievements, however small the achievement might be. There’s that saying, shoot for the moon. Even if you miss the moon you will land upon the stars. Pretty good.

3. Practice positive self-talk to encourage yourself to take more risks. How many tweets have you seen reading that your thoughts eventually become your reality. It’s true. So be careful with the conversation happening between your ears.

4. Pay attention to your sleeping and eating patterns. If a person is upset, generally you can tell by the way they sleep or eat. Sleeping not enough or sleeping too much can be signs of depression. Ask yourself the root of your dissatisfaction, and start digging up the answer. You will heal yourself by asking the hard questions, and getting help.

5. Don’t mix business and friendships. This is almost never a good idea. It leaves people feeling hurt, taken advantage of, or worse. Don’t do it. Ever. For real.

6. Create boundaries for yourself. Don’t make business calls on Saturdays. Don’t take business calls on Saturdays. You need time for rest and recovery. If you work for yourself the boundaries become even more necessary.

7. Face at least one of your fears this year. When you knock one down, you will find yourself knocking down more, until you have the domino effect happening. At the end of the domino effect is extreme happiness and spiritual wealth. Start today.

8. Don’t keep your ex-boyfriend’s number in your cell phone. I read a great article yesterday on will power. The article in the New York Times was on New Years Resolutions. It said, “Instead of fending off one urge after another, these people [the ones who are good at will power] set up their lives to minimize temptations. They play offense, not defense, using their willpower in advance so that they avoid crises, conserve their energy and outsource as much self-control as they can.” That means if you are an alcoholic, don’t go to the bars. And don’t drink with people who bring out that side of you. If you are a shopaholic, don’t go to Nordstrom. If you are trying to lose weight, don’t keep ice cream in the freezer. If Facebook depresses you because you get fed up with people bragging about how fabulous their lives are, don’t go on Facebook (and don’t stalk your ex’s). Make life easier for yourself this year!

9. Learn when to turn it all off. The world isn’t ending tomorrow. Yes we know the world is heating up, baby animals are being hurt somewhere in the world, genocide still happens, and Kim Kardashian got divorced after only 72 days. But at a certain point, all this noise isn’t good for us on an individual level. Consuming so much bad news can be destructive to your spirit. Know when to turn it all off and be ok with quiet. Learn to meditate. Learn to clear your mind. Note: this comes from someone who melts at the site of baby animals.

10. Smile more. Joy? What’s that? I was in a salsa dancing class this week with my boyfriend and the instructor said, “and for the fourth step, you have to smile. We don’t do that enough.” And I thought to myself, great scott! We all need to smile more, a lot more!

Giving up “good girl” for deep spiritual fulfillment.

Posted on by
3

Samba the fearless German Pincher and I have gone on a handful of runs together. It’s a holiday week and I am down in LA visiting with my boyfriend’s family. On these trips I like to start out the day with what I call “gratitude runs” with the dog because she reminds me that even a run is a miracle. She is so grateful to just go outside and smell the grass.

When we went for our run today I found myself saying “good girl good girl” when Samba stayed close to me. When she went too far–especially when I let her off the leash–I said “Samba no Samba no.”

Samba reminds me that in life when you veer too far from the authorities in your life (parents, friends, bosses, colleagues) the authorities become upset. On a personal note, in my own journey, so many times in my life people have said to me, “I don’t get what you do” (in my head it translated to “I don’t get you.”)

I had to become ok with hearing “I don’t get you.”

In time I learned to accept this, and to not blame the people who have said this to me. As humans we take information and organize that data into boxes of files in our brain. That is our nature. There are people, no matter how much you explain to them what you do, want to do etc, who you are, they will never “get it.” We have to be ok with this. This is part of the hero’s journey. Are you going to spend your life making sure you fit into someone’s file easily, or are you going to live for yourself?

We must forgo the need to hear “good girl good girl” in exchange for the real gold at the end of the rainbow. Most people will never know because they are too afraid to leave their comfort zone. They are too afraid of a life outside of someone else’s file.

If you want to go out and find your path, your bliss your [insert word to describe something indescribable eg. passion, calling, flow] you must turn your back to the people who try to control you. Remember, the best gift you can give to the world is to take care of yourself.

Samba

Of course Samba is just a dog, and she doesn’t know better, nor will Samba probably pursue deeper meaning in her life other than rabbits, doggie treats and the comfort of her home and family.

While you can always seek help, support, coaching and resources, at the end of the day you find out who you are on your own.

Once you walk the path–often the road less traveled your truth will reveal itself. Like someone moving toward the light, you will find pathways open that continue to move you in the direction of your purpose.

Giving up “good girl” for a lifetime of deep spiritual fulfillment is a risk we all can take.

Five tips for surviving the holiday season and un-grumpying yourself

Posted on by
2

I’m an honest person. Honest in that it’s hard for me to be fake. If I’m tired you’ll see it on my face. If I’m happy you’ll see it on my face. If I’m angry you’ll see it on my face. So in the spirit of being honest, I will tell you that I don’t wake up perky every morning. Some days I wake up straight up grumpy.

I have to make a decision every day to manage myself into a positive place. I meditate, I run, I do an assortment of things to change my outlook until it’s one of gratitude. And during the holidays, this can be harder. I’m not able to manage my environment the way I normally would.

During the holidays I need to work twice as hard spiritually to create a peaceful spiritual environment for myself.

So dear readers, happy holidays to you. Here are five things I do to bring calm and joy into my life. Please feel free to share your tips in the comments section of this blog.

Blake’s top five holiday season de-stressors:

1. Get exercise and fresh air. I work out almost every day. Many mornings I’m that non jogger-looking jogger who starts to awkwardly bust out a dance move on the track. The chorus of the Rihanna song I’m listening to is too “bumpin’” not to dance to. Sometimes I’ll sing while I run (and I’m a terrible singer). I don’t care if people can see me mouthing words. Pretty much every run, after about 18 minutes nothing can get me down. I’m officially a happier, nicer, kinder, softer person. This is the single most important part of my day.  Exercise is always a priority for me. Many days I don’t feel like it, but I don’t have an option. It’s being grumpy, or moving. A clear decision. Happiness for me is getting up every day and making the decision to move.

2. Wear something pretty when you’re feeling unattractive. Geneen Roth encourages her readers to wear red, particularly when they are feeling  fat or ugly or generally blah. She says if you have to wear a uniform to work, wear red lipstick, jewelry or nail polish. Since I woke up grumpy today I wore a bright coral pink top, pink necklace, pink earrings and pink shoes to make me feel…more rosey. I did my hair even though I didn’t feel like it. It is possible I look a little early ’90s today, but I don’t care. And I think it really contributed to an overall better day.

Geneen writes in her book “When You Eat At the Refrigerator: Pull Up A Chair:”

Red [or color in the same family] corresponds to courage, strength, autonomy and power. Red broadcasts energy, enthusiasm passion….Feeling fat has very little to do with last night’s bread pudding, and everything to do with .. self worth, between the size of our bodies and what we are allowed to do or say or be. Wearing red supports supports the idea that your past does not rule your life. ‘Though I ate bread pudding last night, and my stomach is awash with ripples today, I am still allowed to be strong and powerful. I am still allowed to be loved. So PIPE DOWN!’”

Geneen, you go girl.

3. Learn how to say no. Saying no can be incredibly empowering. By saying no you are essentially taking your life back. Ladies stop taking on everything. Don’t concern yourself with who likes you and who does not like you. Life is too short to live it for someone else. People are either on your bandwagon or not. Don’t change your priorities to suit the people who ask to become yours. When you spread yourself thin it’s not in the best interest of you or the people you make promises to you can’t keep. Be strong. Say the N word (NO).

4. Draw boundaries. This is related to number 3, saying no. This can be our toughest challenge as the blurring between personal and professional continues to happen. But try to keep some rules for yourself. Create boundaries for yourself, and stick to them. Most of us don’t have boundaries and this is the root of many of our problems. Boundaries boundaries boundaries. For example let other people solve their own problems. Let your friends/relatives set themselves up on their own dates, find their own jobs and lose weight when they’re ready their own way…don’t try to be the fixer of everyone around you. Many times the folks you try to help will end up resenting you anyway. People get help when they want to really get help. 

5. Use the bubble shield. Learn how to retreat into yourself, especially when you feel the chaotic holiday energy around you. As you move through different environments this holiday season imagine you are shielded by a bubble. The bubble protects your boundaries and allows you to quiet down inside and “retreat into yourself.” If you feel chaotic energy around you, you have the power to not participate. You have the power to create a blank slate in your mind. Imagine the ocean, imagine the forest, just do whatever you have to do to not engage your energy in holiday shenanigans. You’ll feel better about yourself after the fact.

And go easy on yourself this holiday season. If you can’t afford fancy gifts for people, don’t buy em. True gifts are meaningful–and those who love you will understand that. By taking better care of our hearts and our minds this holiday season we will all be ready to gear up for an amazing 2012.

What the Marathon Taught Me

Posted on by
13

Modern life might appear to be easier than the caveman days.

With siri the iphone assistant, self-parking cars, and GrubHub—most of us don’t sweat in our daily work unless we choose to. But I would argue life is more challenging than it was during cavemen times. Possibly because we’ve forgotten what it means to run.

We have made incredible leaps and bounds in technology, healthcare, manufacturing and transportation–but we have overcomplicated life in almost every way as well.

While today survival might not include hunting for dinner or running messages from city to city, keeping up today can be challenging.

“The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense”. ~ Tom Clancy

If we’ve made so many advances in agriculture and nutrition, why is it that most Americans are overweight? And on the other end of that famine is still a major issue here in our own country and abroad. Almost nine million people died of hunger this year. So while we’ve made advances in many areas of society, clearly we haven’t mastered some simple things.

For me running serves as a personal reminder that life is not easy. To survive, you have to run–literally and figuratively. That being said life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.

“Distance running was indispensable; it was the way we survived and thrived and spread across the planet. You ran to eat and to avoid being eaten; you ran to find a mate and impress her, and with her you ran off to start a new life together. You had to love running, or you wouldn’t live to love anything else. And like everything else we love–everything we sentimentally call our ‘passions’ and ‘desires’–it’s really an encoded ancestral necessity. We were born to run; we were born because we run.” -Christopher McDougall, Born To Run

If there’s anything to test your fight for survival, it’s a marathon.

Amazing day.

Last Sunday I ran the marathon–the most grueling physical activity I’ve ever done. The San Francisco Women’s Nike Marathon is a powerful run. There’s a lot of pomp and circumstance. And I appreciated that considering this was my first marathon (fourth marathon–first full) and I appreciated all the glitter and bells.

I couldn’t have asked for better weather. It was in the 60s. It took 30 minutes for us to get out the gate due to the sheer amount of people running–but we didn’t care. The East Bay Team In Training Team Driven had reached the final test we had studied six months for-and we were ready and eager.

The first five miles were very difficult due to the people traffic–23,000 runners. The start of the race–Union Square and then through North Beach–was very crowded up until about mile 11 when the half marathoners broke away from the full marathon runners. This is after about three miles of sporadic steep hills. At these moments you are grateful for the coaching and training.

I saw amazing things including a break-dance troupe, a drumming troupe, the Oakland gospel choir and cheerleaders of all kinds.

The marathon was mostly Team In Training runners. There were runners who had labels on their backs and the names of honorees (those who they raised money for) reading “for mom,” “for dad,” “for grandma” and so on. There were runners with pictures of loved ones who had passed away. This made an emotional day even more emotional for me.

The last five miles of the marathon were the hardest five miles I’ve ever run in my life. They call this portion of the run “the wall.” You have to fight the wall. As the East Bay Team Driven Coach–Coach Al–says, it takes mental tenacity to get through the wall.


Coach Al’s spotlight in the film Runners High

You dig down within yourself to take one step, then another step, and before you know it you’ve reached the last mile. The cheers get louder. You start to see coaches. You can’t believe you are so close to your goal.

The end of the race we were greeted by firefighters. Each runner was handed an engraved Tiffany’s necklace in a pristine blue box with a white bow by a firefighter who is also wrapped in a bow [orange, and around their neck of course].

This is in addition to the Ghiridelli chocolate you get at mile 21, a source of playfulness and fun aspect of the race. My mom was at the finish-line in tears (we both were). I was given a foil blanket, a neon yellow shirt, and the most delicious turkey sandwich I’ve eaten in my life.

In conclusion

I intend to get back involved with Team In Training. It has been one of the most incredible programs of my life–and the support, smiles and laughter of the people I trained with were very meaningful for me.

Every Saturday I would get up at 6 in the morning, have my coffee, listen to NPR and drive to a practice run at a different location in the East Bay–and what was initially trepidation and fear slowly turned into excitement and joy.

I will always remember what Coach Al said in the last practice training we had. Something to the effect of “in the East Bay we don’t care where you come from.” He meant that no one cares about what you have on your resume, LinkedIn profile, Facebook wall or driver’s license.

We are there to play. We are there to run. We are there to meditate. We are there to fill up on joy.

The final and biggest lesson for me–from the training and the marathon is about survival.

You have to fight for life. Every day. No matter what you are doing every day is sacred. We have forgotten as a society, what it means to fight for our humanity.

To conclude, here are the four things I learned from Coach Al during the marathon training I will always remember.

1. You can’t control the weather or the terrain, but you can prepare for how you will react during any scenario.

2. You are much stronger than you think you are.

3. Running a marathon is not physical, it’s mental.

4. You are never ever ever finished growing.

me sprinting the last half mile

Run For Your Life

Posted on by
Reply

It was Saturday morning. A cold layer of smokey fog whispered over the picturesque Berkeley Marina.

We huddled in a circle to gear up for our 20 mile run–the last of our long runs before we begin tapering. In a little more than two weeks we will be pounding on the pavement of San Francisco’s streets for the Nike Women’s Marathon.

We are raising money to help find a cure for cancer through the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and we have raised a total of $188,225. We hope to eventually raise $228,900.

As we always do before long runs, we focus on the honorees. Those with cancer who we support. Yesterday, as we jumped up and down to keep our muscles warm before the almost four hour run we shouted out the names of our honorees, “Ricky!” “Brenda!”

Team In Training is one of the most well-run organizations I have ever worked with. They are what you would call a tight ship.  Team In Training has raised more than $1 billion dollars to fight cancer. I will probably return next year as a mentor, as I can’t imagine my life without this incredibly enriching and fulfilling opportunity. The people who choose to participate in Team In Training are really lovely and generous. They have big hearts and big smiles. I feel so lucky to have met this wonderful crew.

On a personal note, a few years ago I never thought I would be able to run 20 miles, but I did–Yesterday.

I am 91% toward the fundraising goal. It has meant so much to me to have the support of so many friends, family members and even people I know through business–some of whom I’ve never even met in person.

And on a more even personal note, running for me is metaphorical for any challenge in life. The beginning is the hardest part. While you run the arduous trek you ask yourself, “what in God’s name was I thinking?” “I must be some kind of masochist.”

But at the end you always feel gratified you showed up, and you can’t imagine your life without that challenge. Many of us are simultaneously attracted and repelled by challenge. But we are more attracted than repelled as we keep coming back for more challenge. For longer and more challenging runs.

Every time I lace up my running shoes and somehow within whatever time frame I am running, 30 minutes or three hours, I morph as a human being through that time. I become a more loving, patient, focused person. Thank you to those who have donated. And to those who have supported me in my journey to become a better runner, a better and more grateful person.

East Bay Team Driven Coach. “Do the damn thing” is something we chant before we start our runs.

Thank you to the following people who have donated to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society on my behalf. For those who would like to help me raise the last 9% of my goal, I would be incredibly grateful if you would click here.

Justin Landau
Michael Landau
jon blum
Jacob Morgan
jeffrey nolan
Debra Malschick
gerson schreiber
Connie Chan
Ellen Severoni
Michele Acker
Irv Kraft
Laura King
Ella Begelfor
Cheryl Morgan
Anonymous
@jnoche
Colin Haig
Charlie isaacs
jean karlinsky
Jane Maestro
Sandra Cohen
Tabitha Russell
Uri Laio
Marissa Lidyoff